Are you planning on murdering someone, but your only stop is the fear of getting caught? Or are you plotting a thriller where your serial-slayer stays steps ahead of that dogged detective who’s also top-tier in her trade? Maybe both? Well, I’ll give you a cake and let you eat it, too…if you’ll follow me on how homicide cops investigate murders.

Think about it. There are only four ways you can get caught. Or get away with it. All seasoned sleuths intrinsically know this, and they build their case on these four simple pillars.

Let’s take a look at them.

What Not To Do

# 1  Don’t leave evidence behind that can identify you to the scene. Such as fingerprints, footwear or tire impressions, DNA profiles, ballistic imprints, gunshot residue, toolmarks, bitemarks, handwritten or printed documents, hair, fiber, chemical signatures, organic compounds, cigarette butts, spit chewing gum, toothpicks, a bloody glove that doesn’t fit, or your wallet with ID (seriously, that’s happened).

# 2  Don’t take anything with you that can be linked. Including all of the above, as well as the victim’s DNA, her car, jewelry, money, bank cards, any cell phone and computer records, that repeated modus operandi of your serial kills, no cut-hair trophies, no underwear souvenirs, and especially don’t keep that dripping blade, the coiled rope, or some smoking gun.

# 3  Don’t let anyone see you. No accomplices, no witnesses, and no video surveillance. Camera-catching is a huge police tool these days. Your face is captured many times daily—on the street, at service stations, banks, supermarkets, pizza joints, government buildings, libraries, transit rides, private driveways, and in the liquor store.

# 4  Never confess. Never, ever, tell anyone. That includes your best drinking buddy, your future ex-lover, the police interrogator, or the undercover agent. Loose lips sink ships and there’ve been more crimes solved through slips of the tongue than any fancy forensic technique.

So, if you don’t do any of these four things, you can’t possibly get caught.

Now…

What To Do

Humans are generally messy and hard creatures to kill—even harder to get rid of—so murder victims tend to leave a pool of evidence. Therefore, it’s best not to let it look like a murder.

Writers have come up with some fascinating and creative ways to hide the cause of death. Problem is—most don’t work. Here’s two sure-fire ways to do the deed and leave little left.

# 1 Cause a Cerebral Arterial Gas Embolism (CAGE) This one’s pretty easy, terribly deadly, and really difficult to call foul. A CAGE is a bubble in the bloodstream, much like a vapor lock in an engine’s fuel system. People die when their central nervous system gets unplugged and a quick, hard lapse in the carotid artery on the right side of the neck can send an CAGE into their cerebral circulation. The brain stops, the heart quits, and they drop dead.

Strangulation is an inefficient way to create an CAGE and it leaves huge tell-tale marks. You’re far better off giving a fast blast of compressed air to the carotid…maybe from something like that thing you clean your keyboard with…just sayin’.

# 2 Good Ol’ Poison. Ah, the weapon of women. Man, have there been a lot of poisonings over the centuries and there’ve been some pretty, bloody, diabolical stories on how they’re done. Problem again—today there’s all that cool science. The usual suspects of potassium cyanide, arsenic, strychnine, and atropine still work well but they’ll jump out like a snake-in-the-box during a routine toxicology screen.

You need something that’s lethal, yet a witch to detect.

I know of two brews—one is a neurotoxin made from fermented plant alkaloid and the other is a simple mix of fungi & citrus. This stuff will kill you dead and leave no trace—however, I think it’s quite irresponsible to post these formulas on the net.

So there, I’ll leave it with you to get away with murder. But, if you have some crafty novel plot that needs help, I’m dying to hear your words.

Oh, and watch out for what’s in that cake you’re eating.

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I’m doing some self-promotion this weekend. Actually, I’m having Amazon Kindle do it and I’d really appreciate your support.

In The Attic, my new psychological thriller is based on the true crime story I investigated. It’s FREE as a Kindle eBook.

Here’s the link if you’d like to download a copy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I66L8S2

Here’s the Amazon description:

“I’m so terrified that psycho’s going to kill me!”

Maria Dersch prophetically predicted her death at the savage hands of her ex-boyfriend, Billy Ray Shaughnessy, who hid in her attic for two and a half days with an ax before sneaking down in the dead of night, chopping Maria and her new lover to death.

In The Attic is an intense, shocking, and unforgettable psychological crime thriller based on the horrific, true murder case Garry Rodgers investigated as an actual detective. It’s also told from the killer’s point of view through his lyrical, psychotic, and homicidal thoughts.

In this lightning-paced, mind-twisting, psychological ride, you’re suspended in a six-day investigation and search for Billy Ray after Maria reported a violent, knife-point, sexual assault committed by him on a Friday afternoon.

Over the weekend, police and friends made a frantic attempt to lock Billy Ray from the house and track him down to prevent escalation. They failed. He’d been in the attic the entire time.

At 3 a.m., on Sunday morning and in the black of night, Billy Ray climbed down. He butchered Maria and her defenseless lover, committing unspeakable desecration to their bodies. Billy Ray aimlessly left the crime scene—a senseless scene sickening to the hardest of investigators—and was caught three days later, still caked with his victims’ blood.

Billy Ray confessed, allowing a terrifying yet fascinating access to his psychopathic, anti-social mind—a mind diagnosed as one of the most outstanding cases of mental disorder a team of forensic psychiatrists ever saw.

In The Attic is Free as a Kindle eBook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01I66L8S2