It’s 2016 and I’m starting a new year, just like you. I’m turning sixty this year and finally resolved to do something I’ve meant to do for a long, long time—before I’m too old to carry it out—I cleaned up my hard drive, storing a half zillion documents neatly in folders… and I found this piece stuffed away. I have no idea who wrote it, or where I got it, but it made me chuckle reading these sixteen thoughts from getting old.
16. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
15. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
14. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
13. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
12. We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.
11. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
10. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
8. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
7. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.
6. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
5. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
4. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
2. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
1. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
Here’s a bonus thought:
Love these, Garry! Thanks for sharing! I’m not quite there yet, but I can relate to more than a few of these. I knew I was getting old when I started to sound like it: I remember when that song came out–thirty years ago. 🙂
Hi Julie! They say you’re only as old as you feel so I’m around thirty in “writer years”. So much more to learn & experience in this game yet. 🙂
Thanks for these little gems, Garry. Like you, I’m turning the big SIX ZERO this year. I read somewhere 60 is the new 40 so I’m going with that. Recently I was complaining to my 22 year old son about getting old, he quipped, ‘you might be old Mum but you’re not boring.’ YAY, THANKS, SON!!
Now that’s a great kid-compliment for you, Gina. My 25-year-old calls me “old man” to my face, but then I stuck him in the Army when he was 16 so he’s paid his dues. 60 / new 40. Love it 🙂 I also love the old George Jones song-line ~ “M’bodys old but it ain’t impaired. I don’t need no rockin’ chair” 🙂
Hi Garry,
Love your blog and look forward to them in my emails. This one gave me a laugh as I, much older than you, have my first suspense novel coming out the end of the month, three-quarters of the way to a BS in criminal justice, and a quarter through my second novel, wonder if I’m doing ‘too much’. My adult children treat me as if I’m still 50 or so and claim it’s because that is how I act. It’s kind of like waiting for the big boom, not knowing when it will occur. Hopefully, I’ll get my second book done before that, but if I don’t, I’ve filled many passions and I’m blessed. In any event, I will keep reading your blogs! Happy & Healthy New Year! Gippy
Nice to hear from you, Gippy, and best wishes to you for 2016! “Much” older than me and you’re pulling all this off?? Wow – Congrats on the energy! I guess I better get it in gear… actually, this will be my most productive writing year yet with a bunch of products in the works. BTW, my adult children treat me like I’m six and claim it’s because that’s how I act 😉 Thanks again for reading the blog 🙂
Thanks, Garry — I needed that!
Congrats on your hard drive victory and have a wonderful 2016!
Best, Judy
Hi Judy & HNY! For the life of me I can’t remember where this bit of silver-haired wisdom came from. Maybe that reflects the age 🙂
Thanks for the giggles of truth. Happy New Year, Garry. I hope 2016 treats you well.
I figured you’d see the smile in this, Cyd. Thanks for dropping by & same for your 2016 in the deep south. We got hit with a heck of a 2016 start here on the west coast of Canada – both an earthquake and frost at the same time. Not sure which freaked people out more 😉
These are hilarious! What a great file to discover tucked away. 🙂
Yeah. It was like digging in your Christmas stocking and coming up with a box of Hedgehogs 🙂 Best for 2016, Sue!