12 TRUTHS LEARNED FROM LIFE AND WRITING – WITH ANNE LAMOTT

If you’ve been around writing—and life—for a while, you’ll know of Anne Lamott. Anne’s the “Shitty First Draft” gal and “Bird by Bird” guru who says more in a phrase than most writers spew in a book. Anne Lamott addresses life’s capital-letter subjects. Alcoholism. Motherhood. Cancer. Community. Alternate Lifestyles. Listening. Faith. Depression. Sobriety. Desperation. Storytelling. Work. Politics. Jesus, Christianity and God. Anne’s also laugh-out-loud funny, and she’s brutally truthful.

Anne Lamott is a Guggenheim Fellow, a U of C prof, a highly-sought lecturer, a Hall of Fame Californian and the multi-time bestseller of fiction and non-fiction alike. To quote Anne, “I write books I’d love to come upon. Ones that are honest, concerned with real lives, spiritual transformation, families, secrets, craziness – and make me laugh.”

And, there’s the progressive social activist side to Anne Lamott. She’s a polished public speaker with a viral TED Talk. With kind permission, here’s Anne’s TED video and transcript.

“My seven-year-old grandson sleeps just down the hall from me, and he wakes up a lot of mornings and he says, “You know, this could be the best day ever.” And other times, in the middle of the night, he calls out in a tremulous voice, “Nana, will you ever get sick and die?”

I think this pretty much says it for me and for most of the people I know, that we’re a mixed grill of happy anticipation and dread. So I sat down a few days before my 61st birthday, and I decided to compile a list of everything I know for sure. There’s so little truth in the popular culture, and it’s good to be sure of a few things.

For instance, I am no longer 47, although this is the age I feel, and the age I like to think of myself as being. My friend Paul used to say in his late 70s that he felt like a young man with something really wrong with him.

Our true person is outside of time and space, but looking at the paperwork, I can, in fact, see that I was born in 1954. My inside self is outside of time and space. It doesn’t have an age. I’m every age I’ve ever been, and so are you, although I can’t help mentioning as an aside that it might have been helpful if I hadn’t followed the skin care rules of the ’60s, which involved getting as much sun as possible while slathered in baby oil and basking in the glow of a tinfoil reflector shield.

It was so liberating, though, to face the truth that I was no longer in the last throes of middle age, that I decided to write down every single true thing I know. People feel really doomed and overwhelmed these days, and they keep asking me what’s true. So I hope that my list of things I’m almost positive about might offer some basic operating instructions to anyone who is feeling really overwhelmed or beleaguered.

Number one: The first and truest thing is that all truth is a paradox. Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift, and it’s impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It’s been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely sensitive. It’s so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder if we’re being punked. It’s filled simultaneously with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty, desperate poverty, floods and babies and acne and Mozart, all swirled together. I don’t think it’s an ideal system.

Number two: Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes — including you.

Three: There is almost nothing outside of you that will help in any kind of lasting way, unless you’re waiting for an organ. You can’t buy, achieve or date serenity and peace of mind. This is the most horrible truth, and I so resent it. But it’s an inside job, and we can’t arrange peace or lasting improvement for the people we love most in the world. They have to find their own ways, their own answers. You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and ChapStick on their hero’s journey. You have to release them. It’s disrespectful not to. And if it’s someone else’s problem, you probably don’t have the answer, anyway.

Our help is usually not very helpful. Our help is often toxic. And help is the sunny side of control. Stop helping so much. Don’t get your help and goodness all over everybody.

This brings us to number four: Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy and scared, even the people who seem to have it most together. They are much more like you than you would believe, so try not to compare your insides to other people’s outsides. It will only make you worse than you already are.

Also, you can’t save, fix or rescue any of them or get anyone sober. What helped me get clean and sober 30 years ago was the catastrophe of my behavior and thinking. So I asked some sober friends for help, and I turned to a higher power. One acronym for God is the “gift of desperation,” G-O-D, or as a sober friend put it, by the end I was deteriorating faster than I could lower my standards.

So God might mean, in this case, “me running out of any more good ideas.”

While fixing and saving and trying to rescue is futile, radical self-care is quantum, and it radiates out from you into the atmosphere like a little fresh air. It’s a huge gift to the world. When people respond by saying, “Well, isn’t she full of herself,” just smile obliquely like Mona Lisa and make both of you a nice cup of tea. Being full of affection for one’s goofy, self-centered, cranky, annoying self is home. It’s where world peace begins.

Number five: Chocolate with 75 percent cacao is not actually a food. Its best use is as a bait in snake traps or to balance the legs of wobbly chairs. It was never meant to be considered an edible.

Number six: Writing. Every writer you know writes really terrible first drafts, but they keep their butt in the chair. That’s the secret of life. That’s probably the main difference between you and them. They just do it. They do it by prearrangement with themselves. They do it as a debt of honor. They tell stories that come through them one day at a time, little by little.

When my older brother was in fourth grade, he had a term paper on birds due the next day, and he hadn’t started. So my dad sat down with him with an Audubon book, paper, pencils and brads — for those of you who have gotten a little less young and remember brads — and he said to my brother, “Just take it bird by bird, buddy. Just read about pelicans and then write about pelicans in your own voice. And then find out about chickadees, and tell us about them in your own voice. And then geese.”

So the two most important things about writing are: bird by bird and really god-awful first drafts. If you don’t know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours, and you get to tell it. If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.

You’re going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs — your truth, your version of things — in your own voice. That’s really all you have to offer us, and that’s also why you were born.

Seven: Publication and temporary creative successes are something you have to recover from. They kill as many people as not. They will hurt, damage and change you in ways you cannot imagine. The most degraded and evil people I’ve ever known are male writers who’ve had huge best sellers. And yet, returning to number one, that all truth is paradox, it’s also a miracle to get your work published, to get your stories read and heard. Just try to bust yourself gently of the fantasy that publication will heal you, that it will fill the Swiss-cheesy holes inside of you. It can’t. It won’t. But writing can. So can singing in a choir or a bluegrass band. So can painting community murals or birding or fostering old dogs that no one else will.

Number eight: Families. Families are hard, hard, hard, no matter how cherished and astonishing they may also be. Again, see number one.

At family gatherings where you suddenly feel homicidal or suicidal –remember that in all cases, it’s a miracle that any of us, specifically, were conceived and born. Earth is forgiveness school. It begins with forgiving yourself, and then you might as well start at the dinner table. That way, you can do this work in comfortable pants.

When William Blake said that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love, he knew that your family would be an intimate part of this, even as you want to run screaming for your cute little life. But I promise you are up to it. You can do it, Cinderella, you can do it, and you will be amazed.

Nine: Food. Try to do a little better. I think you know what I mean.

Number ten: Grace. Grace is spiritual WD-40, or water wings. The mystery of grace is that God loves Henry Kissinger and Vladimir Putin and me exactly as much as He or She loves your new grandchild. Go figure.

The movement of grace is what changes us, heals us and heals our world. To summon grace, say, “Help,” and then buckle up. Grace finds you exactly where you are, but it doesn’t leave you where it found you. And grace won’t look like Casper the Friendly Ghost, regrettably. But the phone will ring or the mail will come and then against all odds, you’ll get your sense of humor about yourself back. Laughter really is carbonated holiness. It helps us breathe again and again and gives us back to ourselves, and this gives us faith in life and each other. And remember — grace always bats last.

Eleven: God just means goodness. It’s really not all that scary. It means the divine or a loving, animating intelligence, or, as we learned from the great “Deteriorata,” “the cosmic muffin.” A good name for God is: “Not me.” Emerson said that the happiest person on Earth is the one who learns from nature the lessons of worship. So go outside a lot and look up. My pastor said you can trap bees on the bottom of mason jars without lids because they don’t look up, so they just walk around bitterly bumping into the glass walls. Go outside. Look up. Secret of life.

And finally: death. Number twelve. Wow and yikes. It’s so hard to bear when the few people you cannot live without die. You’ll never get over these losses, and no matter what the culture says, you’re not supposed to. We Christians like to think of death as a major change of address, but in any case, the person will live again fully in your heart if you don’t seal it off. Like Leonard Cohen said, “There are cracks in everything, and that’s how the light gets in.” And that’s how we feel our people again fully alive.

Also, the people will make you laugh out loud at the most inconvenient times, and that’s the great good news. But their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you. Grief and friends, time and tears will heal you to some extent. Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate and moisturize you and the ground on which you walk.

Do you know the first thing that God says to Moses? He says, “Take off your shoes.” Because this is holy ground, all evidence to the contrary. It’s hard to believe, but it’s the truest thing I know. When you’re a little bit older, like my tiny personal self, you realize that death is as sacred as birth. And don’t worry — get on with your life. Almost every single death is easy and gentle with the very best people surrounding you for as long as you need. You won’t be alone. They’ll help you cross over to whatever awaits us. As Ram Dass said, “When all is said and done, we’re really just all walking each other home.”

I think that’s it, but if I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. Thank you.

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Anne Lamott’s Barclay Agency Biography:

Anne Lamott writes and speaks about subjects that begin with capital letters: Alcoholism, Motherhood, Jesus.  But armed with self-effacing humor – she is laugh-out-loud funny – and ruthless honesty, Lamott converts her subjects into enchantment.  Actually, she writes about what most of us don’t like to think about.  She wrote her first novel for her father, the writer Kenneth Lamott, when he was diagnosed with brain cancer.  She has said that the book was “a present to someone I loved who was going to die.”

In all her novels, she writes about loss – loss of loved ones and loss of personal control.  She doesn’t try to sugar-coat the sadness, frustration and disappointment, but tells her stories with honesty, compassion and a pureness of voice.  As she says, “I have a lot of hope and a lot of faith and I struggle to communicate that.”  Anne Lamott does communicate her faith; in her books and in person, she lifts, comforts, and inspires, all the while keeping us laughing.

Anne Lamott is the author of seven novels, Hard Laughter, Rosie, Joe Jones, Blue Shoe, All New People, Crooked Little Heart, and Imperfect Birds. She has also written several bestselling books of nonfiction, including, Operating Instructions, an account of life as a single mother during her son’s first year; Some Assembly Required: A Journal of My Son’s First Son; and the classic book on writing; Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life. She has also authored several collections of autobiographical essays on faith; Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith,  Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith, and Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith. In addition, she has written, Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers, Stitches; A Handbook on Meaning, Hope and Repair,  Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace, and Hallelujah Anyway; Rediscovering Mercy. Her most recent book is Almost Everything: Notes on Hope (October 16, 2018, Riverhead Books).

Lamott has been honored with a Guggenheim Fellowship, and has taught at UC Davis, as well as at writing conferences across the country. Academy Award-winning filmmaker Freida Mock has made a documentary on Lamott, entitled “Bird by Bird with Annie” (1999).  Anne Lamott has also been inducted into the California Hall of Fame.

THE TERRIBLE TRUTH ABOUT ADOLF HITLER’S REMAINS

The name “Adolf Hitler” is synonymous with evil. Pure evil. Hitler, or the Fuhrer as he self-titled, ruled Germany as chancellor and dictator from the rise of Nazism in 1933 until his death by suicide in 1945. During that time, millions of civilians and soldiers died and the Motherland was destroyed — a truly atrocious era in human history. Horrific as that time was, today there’s a terrible possibility a new monster could arise from Adolf Hitler’s remains.

From the moment Adolf Hitler expired, rumors circulated about what really happened to the Fuhrer’s body. Many witnesses were at Hitler’s death scene. Most saw his deceased form, and some admitted to help dispose of Hitler’s earthly evidence. Despite sworn statements and hard medical facts, few details were released to the Allies and the western world. That was because Russians did the investigation. Red Army Intelligence officers processed forensics that included autopsying and conclusively identifying Hitler’s cadaver.

Because of a lack of released information, speculation of Hitler’s survival soon started. Concocted conspiracy theories began, and there were sightings of the Fuhrer reported on every continent including a secret submarine base near Antarctica. Nazi hunters followed clues across Europe, in Asia, Africa, America and deep into Argentina. None paid off because the truth was the Russians had Hitler all along.

The truth is also that Hitler’s corpse made a remarkable journey from one hiding spot to another. He was buried and dug-up at least five times over a twenty-five year period. Today, tangible parts of Adolf Hitler still exist, and that leads to a modern biological possibility the Fuhrer could live again. Here’s the terrible truth about Adolf Hitler’s remains.

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Adolf Hitler entered the world in 1889. His birthplace was near Linz which was then part of the Austrian-Hungarian alliance. Hitler moved to Germany in 1913 and worked as an aspiring architect but amounted to no more than a starving artist.

He served in the German Army during World War 1 and rose to a corporal rank. He was injured while running messages and spent most of the First World War on the sidelines. Following Germany’s surrender, Hitler immersed in trade union politics with the German Workers Party and soon got himself in trouble.

Hitler was jailed as a political prisoner after he led a failed coup. His lock-up during 1923 and 1924 gave him time to write Mein Kampf (My Struggle) which was his manifesto outlining his plan to gain dictatorial power in Germany and expand Aryan racial interests. Hitler also met Rudolf Hess who had significant influence in solidifying anti-Jewish hatred in Hitler’s psyche.

By the early 1930s, Adolf Hitler attained sufficient control through the National Socialist Party which were the Nazis. Hitler surrounded himself with particularly nasty men and used brute force to gain and maintain authority. Some were ideological psychopaths such as Heinrich Himmler. Others, like Herman Goering, were crass opportunists.

Hitler managed to establish massive support from the German population which included the Caucasians and excluded other races and cultures, especially the Jews. He formed plans to expand Germany’s empire and gain space for the blond-haired, blue-eyed pure Aryans. But, his 1939 action of annexing Poland started the Second World War and began his undoing.

One of Hitler’s massive mistakes was declaring war on Russia. From a historical point, there was no need to do this for Hitler to execute his manifesto. It seems Hitler went slowly mad and his delusions caused him to fatally overextend his armed forces’ capacity and the world turned on him through an unlikely Russian and western alliance.

By April of 1945, the war was nearly over and Hitler denied it. He was probably insane by this time which is backed-up by accounts of his inner circle who stayed with Hitler in his Berlin bunker until the Russians arrived. There were reports of Hitler collapsing in tearful rages and hysterically ordering non-existent army units into combat action.

On April 30, 1945, Adolf Hitler married his long-time mistress, Eva Braun, in the Fuhrer bunker. After a minor champagne celebration and dictating his last will and testament, Hitler and Braun retired to their chambers and committed joint suicide. Exactly how they did it and what became of their bodies turned into a world-class mystery. Some describe it as a parlor game full of crazy conspiracies.

The best evidence of what really happened to Hitler and Braun comes from two sources. One is eyewitnesses who were in the bunker at the time. The other is scientific material carefully collected by the Russian government. The first information pool has the usual witness fallibilities. The second source has credibility issues due to Russian misinformation, concealment, and cover-ups.

There is absolutely no doubt Adolf Hitler died on April 30, 1945. That is uncontested by any credible opinion. Most accounts have Hitler using the “pistol and poison” method where he ingested prussic acid, or hydrogen cyanide, while putting a handgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger. All accounts indicate Evan Braun was not shot. Rather, she also took a cyanide dose.

Hitler clearly expressed his wish to have their bodies cremated. He’d learned of Italian dictator Benito Mussolini’s public execution where Mussolini’s body was hung by the feet and mutilated by the crowd. Adolf Hitler did not want that happening to him. He specifically instructed his staff to take his body out of the bunker and set in on fire in the garden.

This act is well recorded and supported by now-released evidence. Hitler’s aides poured some sort of petroleum fuel over the Fuhrer and Eva Braun. However, they were unable to create sufficient heat to consume the corpses and the cadavers were only charred.

There were several attempts to increase the inferno, but time ran out. The Russians were on their doorstep and lobbing artillery rounds into the garden and at the bunker. Aides hastily dug a shell crater into a shallow grave and covered up Hitler and Braun’s burnt bodies.

The bunker occupants surrendered and quickly disclosed where Hitler and Braun lay buried. Russian medical experts arrived on May 4, 1945, and exhumed the grave. They took both bodies to a facility at Buch in Berlin and stored them above ground. Two Russian pathologists performed autopsies on May 10, and their report was publicly released under the Nazi War Crimes Disclosure Act in 2000.

Hitler and Braun were superficially scorched to the point of visual non-recognition. However, they were skeletally intact which included their organs being suitable for dissection. Braun showed no bullet wound but did exhibit post-mortem shrapnel damage. One pathologist noted this probably happened as an artillery round exploded while she was on fire. Glass shards and cyanide traces were in her mouth, and they listed Eva Braun’s cause of death as suicide by poison.

Adolf Hitler showed no conclusive sign of disease or any sudden medical event. As rumors always said, Hitler only had one testicle. His brain was biologically unremarkable, but it was traversed by a bullet passage. The pathologists could not identify an entrance wound and theorized it was probably through the mouth. There was also no notable exit wound or bullet slug itself. The report says Hitler’s upper cranial bone was missing, and they assumed it was blown off by the gunshot force.

The pathologists conclusively found glass shards and cyanide traces in the Fuhrer’s mouth. They listed his cause of death as a combination of cyanide poisoning and a gunshot wound to the head. Something else they discovered in Hitler’s mouth was crucial to identifying his body. That was Adolf Hitler’s unmistakable dentition.

Hitler’s teeth were in terrible condition. His upper and lower mandibles were a mess of bridges and crowns with a sprinkling of natural enamel that enclosed tooth pulp. His gums were inflamed, and he had several extraction gaps that weren’t replaced. It was an odontologist’s dream when it came to making a postmortem identification.

The Russian pathology team located Hitler’s dentist and assistant who were thoroughly familiar with every part of the Fuhrer’s mouth. They viewed the dental work from the cadaver and produced Hitler’s complete records. They established there was absolutely no doubt whatsoever these dental works belong to the now-deceased Adolf Hitler.

Joseph Stalin, the Russian dictator, wasn’t so sure. Stalin was paranoid that his nemesis Hitler would come to haunt him by people believing Hitler was alive and hidden or having his body become a future Nazi shrine. Stalin stalled and ordered Hitler’s body temporarily buried with the dental work brought to Moscow for his inspection.

It’s not clear from historical records where Hitler’s body was temporarily interred. It seems he was stored in the Russian-occupied sector of Berlin. Once Stalin was satisfied Hitler was dead, and the dental work was conclusive identification, he began a misinformation campaign to deny this. Stalin’s motives for fooling the west have gone to the grave with him, but Stalin wasn’t finished with Hitler’s body.

On June 3, 1945, Stalin ordered Hitler’s remains exhumed from temporary storage and moved to a highly-secret and secluded spot. This was in the Brandenburg forest area southwest of Berlin. Hitler, and presumably Braun as well, were buried in wooden caskets which were more like shipping crates. They lay undisturbed for several months until Stalin had a change of plans.

For whatever reason, Stalin ordered Hitler dug-up again. On February 21, 1946, Stalin directed that Hitler be put under the ground at a parade square inside a Russian-held military base at Magdeburg, Germany. This spot was southwest of Brandenburg, but in a high-traffic area instead of a remote forest.

Joseph Stalin died in 1953. Russia carried on as the Soviet Union and entered the cold war. By 1970, Russia began turning occupied territory over to the East German government which was communist friendly. That included the Magdeburg base going back into German hands.

Yuri Andropov, who went on to be the Soviet Union leader, was the KGB head in the early 70s. Andropov knew Hitler’s body was under the Magdeburg parade square, and the last thing he wanted was a future German regime breathing life into Hitler’s memory by turning that site into a Neo-Nazi Mecca. Andropov had Hitler exhumed again and finally dealt with.

In the middle of the night on April 3-4, 1970, a secret shovel squad extracted what was left of Adolf Hitler’s bones and burned them. There are conflicting stories about what happened. Andropov is on public record stating the ashes were scattered in the nearby Elbe River. Work-party members state the bones were so dry that they vanished in smoke. And a few reports hint that Adolf Hitler was dumped into the city sewer system.

What finally took place with Hitler’s cadaver may never be known. However, there’s one thing for certain. Adolf Hitler’s teeth remain locked in a Kremlin vault. They’re resting there today.

What’s also certain is Hitler’s natural teeth contain his DNA. Those molecules stay preserved in the pulp. Hitler’s biological profile is encased within the enamel practically forever, and DNA can be cloned. Cloning Adolf Hitler was the plot in the 1978 blockbuster The Boys From Brazil. Back then, it was science fiction. Today, technology of DNA extraction and cloning zygote embryos into a surrogate mother is not sci-fi. It’s very, very, very real.

All it would take is some evil crackpot doctor like Joseph Mengele to steal Hitler’s tooth, saw it open, and start cloning away. That’s the terrible truth about Adolf Hitler’s remains.

HOW TO CONDUCT A “COMPETENT” HANGING EXECUTION

Capital punishment. You’re likely all-in or all-out on the issue. Few seem to sit on the fence about lawfully executing the worst of offenders. According to the Death Penalty Information Center, 61 percent of Americans currently oppose capital punishment, 33 percent support it and 6 percent fence sit with no strong opinion. But, the pendulum is swinging back towards execution approval in what the United States Supreme Court calls, “Evolving Standards of Decency”. This means public sentiment is moving from an anti cruel-and-unusual punishment mode to old-fashioned, eye-for-an-eye justice.

Believe it or not, I’m a cautious fence sitter when it comes to putting bad guys down. My view is the only definite outcome of killing a serious offender is ensuring they’ll never threaten society again. All the rest of the pro and con arguments seem secondary. Those include fear of executing the innocent, reducing crime and economizing expenses, moral repugnance, administering due punishment, issuing general deterrence and circumventing blotched procedures.

Here are more American stats from the Death Penalty Information Center (DPIC). The DPIC Fact Sheet shows at the end of 2019, there were 2656 condemned souls waiting it out on America’s death rows. The two biggest states by population, California and Texas, had 729 and 224 condemned inmates respectively.

Texas is a prolific executioner with 567 prisoners lethally injected since 1977 while California did-in 13. In total, the participating U.S. states killed 1512 inmates with Texas accounting for 37.5 percent of all executions. You can do the math on California’s commitment to the program, and they recently entered a moratorium on capital punishment.

The vast majority of the “civilized” world doesn’t have statutory death penalty legislation. American executions are left to each state’s discretion with the exception of federal offenses. 29 states approve capital punishment, although many refuse to practice it. 21 states have no stomach for the job regardless if it’s lethal injecting, electrocuting, gassing, shooting or hanging. Up till recently, hanging was still approved in Washington and New Hampshire but both states have recently repealed the death penalty.

You’re probably wondering what got me going on capital punishment and why the headline How to Conduct a Competent Hanging. Well, I ran across the 1928 story of a prolific American serial killer named Earle Leonard Nelson – a guy I never heard of – who was hung in my growing-up town of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The article clicked me through to an official hanging instruction manual issued by the State of Delaware written when they still strung-up sentenced sociopaths.

The publication’s title is Execution by Hanging – Operation and Instruction Manual and the sub-title is How to Conduct a Competent Hanging. I was intrigued by the complicated and precise science involved in hangings so I thought I’d share it with you. Here’s how Delaware Corrections competently hung people before they banned capital punishment in 2016.

EXECUTION BY HANGING – OPERATION and INSTRUCTION MANUAL

How to Conduct a Competent Hanging

BACKGROUND

Hanging has been utilized as a mode of execution for as long as man can remember. There have been more executions by this method than any other means. The procedure is simple; and yet there have been more botched executions by this method than by any other.

Essentially, execution by hanging is strangulation, effected by restricting the executee’s air supply at the neck, unconsciousness occurring between two and four minutes and
death within ten, resulting in death by asphyxiation. This, however, is not humane.

The correct procedure is when the executee is dropped some distance and stopped by a rope fastened around his neck. The force of this drop and stop breaks the bones in the executee’s neck and severs his spinal cord causing him to go into medical shock and be rendered unconscious. At this point the executee strangles to death. This method is the only humane form of hanging.

The force (in foot pounds) of the drop is critical and is determined by the physical stature of the executee, primarily his weight. In general, the heavier the person, the shorter the drop, and conversely, the lighter the person the longer the drop. Generally, weights as low as 120 pounds result in a force of some 950 foot pounds where weights over 220 result in some 1100 foot pounds. A drop of too short a distance will result in a condition where the spinal cord is not severed and the executee will not go into shock and will be conscious during the strangulation period. A drop of too long a distance will result in decapitation. Both conditions are not humane. In general, execution requirements will never result in an execution where the inertia of the drop will greatly exceed 1600 foot pounds or be less than 900 foot pounds. In all cases, it is better to utilize an established formula.

Drop Distance Table to Prevent an Error or Accident.

The Drop Distance Table contained herein is the established Table utilized successfully by the United States Army for many years. Additionally, the specifications for some of the specialized hardware defined herein are resultant from many years of testing by the United States Army.

MEDICAL DESCRIPTION

The executee will be dropped a distance as defined in the Drop Distance Table and his acceleration will be stopped by the rope around his neck. This will result in the breakage
of several neck bones and the severing of the spinal cord within a time period of less than a second. The executee will immediately enter medical shock. He will probably experience one brief instant (measured in milliseconds) of pain before he loses all consciousness and all sensation. His body will go limp with paralysis. He will then strangle due to the lack of oxygen. He should be brain dead in something more than six minutes and heart dead in about eight. The attending medical doctor will determine heart death.

Depending upon the equipment used, there will be some physical trauma to the executee’s body. This should be minimized by using the defined equipment.

PURPOSE

This Manual, the Protocol, Procedures and Equipment contained herein were written and designed to ensure a competent and humane execution. The equipment and procedures have been taken from long-standing and well-tested protocol and changes and improvements were made based upon expert engineering and medical considerations. It is the author’s intent to make the execution as easy and painless as possible for both the Executee and those persons tasked with carrying out the execution. The Protocol, Procedures and the Equipment have been designed to  maintain the dignity of the executee, as well as, the dignity of those responsible for the execution.

Up until very recently Execution was an Art employed only by the “Executioner”. It is only now becoming a Science with the Training and Certification of other types of Execution Technicians (i.e. Lethal Injection and Electrocution). Those persons carrying out the Protocol and Procedures in this Manual shall be Trained and Certified as Hanging Technicians.

It is further suggested (if the Jurisdiction permits) that the Executee be tranquilized one-half (1/2) hour prior to execution by the administration of Diazepam (Valium) as per the dosage table.

EQUIPMENT

The following items are required for a competent hanging.

A Gallows should be utilized having the following basic characteristics.

A Floor Height of at least nine (9) feet to allow for a minimum clearance of about one (1) foot on the drop.

A Crossbeam Height of nine (9) feet giving an approximate clearance of three (3) feet above the executee.

An Opening and Trap Door of at least three (3) feet square to allow proper clearance for the executee.

Means of Releasing the trap door. This is normally accomplished by utilizing two bolts
under one side of the door which are actuated by a common mechanism, either linkage rods or cable.

Means for Stopping the trap door swing after it has fallen. This is normally accomplished
utilizing a mechanical metal spring catch or a counterweight and a “rope grabber”.

An Eyelet or Fastening Mechanism for the rope containing the Hangman’s Noose.

Body Restraint. This is a waist strap containing two (2) wrist restraints. It is fabricated from 3000 lb. test nylon aircraft webbing two (2) inches wide and is fifty (50) inches long. It contains three (3) quick release fasteners (one [1] for the waist and one [1] for each wrist) all of which are adjustable from each side. The color is black with chrome fasteners.

Leg Restraint. This is an ankle strap which binds both ankles together. It is fabricated from 3000 lb. test nylon aircraft webbing two (2) inches wide and is thirty-six (36) inches long. It contains one (1) quick release fastener which is adjustable from both sides. The color is black with chrome fasteners.

Collapse Frame. This is a six by thirty (6 X 30) inch frame fabricated of square steel tubing. It contains three (3) body restraints measuring fifty (50) inches long by two (2) inches wide which are made from 3000 lb.test nylon aircraft webbing and contain three (3) quickrelease fasteners adjustable from both sides. (One [1]for each restraint.) The color of the frame and webbing is black and the fasteners are chrome. This is used in the event of a physical collapse by the executee and enables the personnel conducting the execution to transport him to the scaffold.

Hood. The hood is fabricated of black denim and has split sides enabling it to extend onto the chest and back. It is generally used, optionally, to cover the face of the executee. A similar hood is available for the executioner but has a hole for the eyes.

Mechanical Hangman’s Knot. This is fabricated from a delrin cylinder and has two (2) longitudinal holes and a steel U-clamp to fasten the rope. It comes with a black denim cover which is fastened with velcro. It is a replacement for the Conventional Hangman’s Knot to eliminate the problems in tying the knot. It, unlike the Conventional Hangman’s Knot, never binds in operation.

Noose Sleeve. This is fabricated of denim and fastened with velcro. It is utilized to prevent tissue damage at the neck.

Rope. Standard hangman’s rope of three-quarter (3/4) inch Manila hemp is available in thirty (30) foot lengths. This rope has been boiled and stretched in drying to eliminate all spring, stiffness or tendency to coil. The rope is also available in six-hundred (600) foot coils but cannot be treated when supplied thus.

Knot Lubricant. Knot lubricant must be used whether utilizing the Mechanical or Conventional Hangman’s knot. With the Mechanical Hangman’s Knot, silicone spray is
recommended. With the Conventional Hangman’s Knot, melted paraffin is recommended.

PERSONNEL

Personnel for the Execution must consist of the following persons:

One (1) or more Certified Hanging Technicians
One (1) Executioner

Additional Personnel:

One (1) or more attendants or guards.
At least three (3) persons from the above categories are necessary to conduct the execution. Ideally, six (6) persons: two (2) Certified Hanging Technicians, three (3) attendants or guards, and one (1) Executioner would result in an easier execution. The Hanging Technicians, only, will do makeready, test and bind the Executee. The Executioner need not have any special training, as his only function is to release the trap door.

PREPARATION

The following procedure should be used in make-ready for the gallows prior to the execution. This should be done several days prior to the execution by a Certified Hanging Technician.

1. Determine the Rope Length for the particular executee. Employ the following formula for this determination and in the event of a multiple execution test with the requirements
for the lighter executee and the longer drop. After the first execution, the Rope Length should be shortened for the next execution. Since the test was for the lighter executee, the trap door may be considered to function with the greater weight of the second executee.

Rope Length = (S – C) + Drop Distance
Where: S = Scaffold Crossbeam Height from Scaffold Floor
C = Executee’s Chin Height
Drop Distance = the distance the executee is dropped
Rope Length = distance of the executee’s drop + the distance of his chin from the
scaffold crossbeam

Note: All measurements are in inches.

2. Measure the Executee’s Chin Height from the floor and
weigh him.

3. Measure the Scaffold Crossbeam Height from the floor of
the scaffold.

4. Subtract the Chin Height from the Scaffold Crossbeam Height and add the Drop Distance from the Drop Distance Table to obtain the Rope Length.

5. Mark the Rope at the rope length and cut it seven (7) feet longer. If fastener for rope is not at crossbeam but at another location, add this distance to the crossbeam height plus any additional amount needed for fastening.

6. Boil the Rope for one (1) hour and stretch the rope while drying to eliminate all spring, stiffness or tendency to coil. Dry thoroughly.

7. Either Tie Conventional Hangman’s Knot as per included instructions or utilize a Mechanical Hangman’s Knot and fasten with U-clamp. Lubricate Hangman’s Knot with
proper lubricant.

8. Install the Rope with the Hangman’s Noose to the scaffold crossbeam and cut off remaining rope. The rope should be stretched tight prior to cutting and only the Rope Length should hang below the scaffold crossbeam.

9. Oil, Check and Verify that all mechanical parts of the Gallows (i.e. the hinges on the trap door and the release mechanism) are functioning properly.

10. Fill Two (2) Sandbags with the equivalent weight of the executee (half in each bag) and fasten the bags together at the tops. Open the Noose and slip it over one of the bags and tighten it at the point where the bags are fastened together. You are now ready to test the gallows.

11, Close the Trap Door and Reset the trip mechanism. Stand on the door to make sure it is secure. Place the sandbags on the door and loop the rope in such a fashion as to prevent any crimping or catching. Test the gallows repeatedly (at least twelve [12] times) to insure proper mechanical operation of the trap door and that the rope is secure and will not break.

You are now prepared for the execution.

EXECUTION PROCEDURE

Note: The following procedure should be completed by a Certified Hanging Technician.

1. Install the Noose Sleeve and, if using a Mechanical Hangman’s Knot, install the cover for the Knot.

2. Install the Body Restraint around the Executee’s waist and tightly bind his wrists to the restraint. (His arms may be restrained either in the front or the back.) If necessary, utilize the Collapse Frame.

3. Bring the Executee to the Execution Location and up the stairs to the scaffold. Remove the Collapse Frame, if utilized.

4. Place the Executee on the Trap Door and conduct the legal formalities.

5. Bind the Executee’s Legs with the Leg Restraint. Place the Hood over the Executee’s head, if used. Place the Hangman’s Noose over the Executee’s head and tighten snugly around his neck. Place the Hangman’s Knot directly behind the Executee’s left ear.

6. All Hanging Technicians shall leave the scaffold and the Executioner, on order from the Warden, shall release the trap door.

7. The Trap Door Shall Open and the Executee Shall Drop. On order from the Warden some eight minutes after the release mechanism was thrown, the attending doctor shall examine the Executee for heart death.

8. After the Pronouncement of Death, the Hanging Technicians shall, while supporting the Executee, loosen and remove the Noose and Hood and set the Executee on the floor. Thereupon, the Hanging Technicians shall remove the Leg and Body Restraints. Executee shall be placed in a body bag for removal.

The following Special Protocol applies:

APPENDIX

DROP DISTANCE TABLE

Weight in Drop Weight in Drop Pounds Distance Pounds Distance

120 or less……..8′ 1″ 170…………….6′ 0″
125…………….7’10” 175…………….5’11”
130…………….7′ 7″ 180…………….5′ 9″
135…………….7′ 4″ 185…………….5′ 7″
140…………….7′ 1″ 190…………….5′ 6″
145…………….6′ 9″ 195…………….5′ 5″
150…………….6′ 7″ 200…………….5′ 4″
155…………….6′ 6″ 205…………….5′ 2″
160…………….6′ 4″ 210…………….5′ 1″
165…………….6′ 2″ 220 and over…….5′ 0″

DIAZEPAM DOSAGE TABLE (Valium)

Note: To be used only in Jurisdictions where legal.

Diazepam Tablets USP, 10 mg (flat, round, white, scored tablets coded WC 143) supplied in bottles of 100 # N0047-0143-24. (Warner Chilcott)

Diazepam has a central nervous system depressant effect and has no short term side effects which would preclude its use as an execution anxiety and stress suppressant. Warning: will produce ataxia (appearance of being drunk) at high dosages and can cause death. Do not overdose or exceed the dosages in the table. If possible, administration should be by physician.

Weight Dosage in Pounds milligram

to 160 15 mg
to 180 20 mg
to 200 25 mg
to 220 and above 30 mg

PROCEDURE FOR TYING HANGMAN’S KNOT

Length of loops: make loop as shown from Standing Part to Running End. A to B should be approximately eighteen (18) inches, and from C to Running End should be approximately thirty-five (35) inches. Wrap running end for six (6) turns. No extra rope should remain.

Tighten wrap (loops) by pulling Running End. Lock loops and form Knot by pulling down at point D and up on Running End. Slide Knot up or down on Standing Part to adjust size of Noose.

NOTE FROM AUTHOR

Hanging is an option in only three states. If properly done it is a humane procedure. The executee is dropped a proper distance as determined by his weight. This distance is
obtained from a drop distance table which is entered utilizing his weight as an argument. The drop and subsequent stop (an acceleration of something approaching some 1600 foot pounds) results in the breaking of several bones in the spinal column which causes nerve damage and unconsciousness. After one brief instant of pain, the executee goes into medical shock and strangles.

If the executee is dropped too short a distance, he will slowly strangle while conscious. If he is dropped to far a distance, this may result in decapitation. I recently wrote the Manual for the State of Delaware, Execution By Hanging, which has been approved by the court. This protocol will most likely be used in any future hanging in the United States. In the past, few hangings were properly conducted, and it is for this reason that the procedure is not generally considered to be humane.

*   *   *

This hanging manual was the official Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for Delaware State Corrections until they abolished all forms of capital punishment in 2016. A fellow by the name of Fred A. Leuchter wrote it and seems to have a good grip on operating a competent gallows. But, I thought I’d check him out and see what his expertise really is. Here’s what Wikepedia says about Fred Leuchter:

“Fred Arthur Leuchter Jr. (born February 7, 1943) is an American manufacturer of execution equipment and Holocaust denier who is best known as the author of the Leuchter report, a pseudoscientific document[2] that alleges there were no gas chambers at Auschwitz-Birkenau. Prior to this, he had been contracted by the authorities of several states in the U.S. to improve the design of instruments for capital punishment.

Leuchter was charged in Massachusetts with having misrepresented himself to penitentiaries as an engineer, despite having no relevant qualifications; Leuchter plea bargained with state prosecutors, and received two years probation. He has also been accused of running a “death row shakedown”, in which Leuchter threatened to testify for the defense in capital cases if he was not given contracts for his services by that state.[1][3][4]

Leuchter became internationally known for his testimony in defense of Holocaust denier Ernst Zündel in 1988. His study for Zündel’s trial has been referred to as the Leuchter Report[5] since it was published by Zündel with that title.

Leuchter’s work is often presented by Holocaust deniers as scientifically-based evidence for Holocaust denial, despite his research methods and findings having been widely discredited on both scientific and historical grounds. Leuchter, and his report, are the subject of Mr. Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr., a 1999 feature-length documentary film by Errol Morris.”