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STOICISM—A PHILOSOPHY, NOT A RELIGION

The term “stoicism” radiates a negative vibe through some folks. They feel Stoicism is a detached, don’t care, and humorless religion where a practicing Stoic leads a selfish existence without contributing to society or helping fellow human beings. Nothing is further from the truth. In fact, true Stoics follow an ancient, common sense, and proven lifestyle where doing good, being righteous, and having fun are paramount. Stoicism is a philosophy, not a religion.

Yes, stoicism is a philosophy—a methodology—a life view dating back twenty-three hundred years to the robe-wrapped Greeks where emerging philosophers met under a “stoa poikile” in central Athens which was a painted portico or porch where they held a “symposium” (translated to a “drinking party”). Fundamentally, they guzzled red wine, got shit-faced, and talked about relevant stuff. Athenians called them “Stoics”.

Stoicism’s practice has never gone away, although for centuries it went underground, being overshadowed and somewhat extinguished by strict conventional religions. Today, there’s a huge resurgence in studying Stoicism, seeing it as a practical rather than an abstract philosophy. Just look at what Ryan Holiday has created with his Daily Stoic podcast and blog site. Ryan has well over a million followers, and he hosts highly insightful, delightful guests.

I recently deep-dived into Stoicism. It was part of research and development for an entertainment series I’m creating, City Of Danger, where a lead character is a practicing Stoic. My rabbit hole led me to reading Meditations written by Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius in AD 161-180. It was enlightening, to say the least. I’ll go into what Meditations speaks to, but first let’s have a Cliffsnotes version of what Stoic philosophy really is.

At its core, Stoicism teaches you to attend to things you can control and dismiss things you can’t control. Virtue is the highest good in Stoicism, and there are four core virtues in Stoic teachings—wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice.

Wisdom is knowledge. “The chief task in life is simply this. To know and separate matters so I can clearly say to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” ~Epictetus

Temperance is moderation. “If you seek tranquility, do less. Do what’s essential—what the logos of a social being requires, and in the requisite way. Which brings a double satisfaction: to do, less, not better. If you can eliminate it, you’ll have more time and more tranquility. Ask yourself at every moment, is this necessary.” ~Marcus Aurelius

Courage is action. “Life is like a military campaign. One must take action, serve on watch, act in reconnaissance, fight on the front line. So it is for us—each person’s life is like a battle. You must act like a soldier. Two words of action must be committed to memory and obeyed. Persist and resist.” ~Epictetus

Justice is righteousness. “Commit to justice in your own acts. Which means thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do. Justice is the source of the other three virtues. After all, how impressive is courage if it’s only about self interest? What good are temperance and wisdom if not put to use for the whole world?” ~Marcus Aurelius

Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius were only a few of the ancient Stoics. Actually, Marcus Aurelius never claimed to be a philosopher—only a student of Stoics like Epictetus. And while Marcus Aurelius was the most powerful ruler in the world during his time, Epictetus was merely a crippled slave—a poor man who, arguably, became the most influential Stoic in history.

Other notable Stoics of history were Zeno (334-262 BC) who started the movement, studying under Cleanthes (331-232 BC) after being shipwrecked and financially ruined. Lucius Seneca (4 BC – 65 AD) was another Stoic philosopher who was perhaps the most outspoken. If you want to hear reality and plain truth, read Seneca’s On the Shortness of Life. He’s brutally straightforward.

Ryan Holiday is, in my opinion, the most influential of modern Stoics. He mentors leading sports figures, military commanders, and political leaders in person, as well as common guys like me online. Sahil Bloom is an emerging Stoic who I find completely credible and motivating. And there’s no one like Thomas Sowell to tackle life’s big issues and put them in Stoic perspective.

Aside from these ancient and current thought leaders’ influence, there are no bounds to what you, as an individual, can benefit from by studying Stoicism. After all, Stoicism is a philosophy, not a religion. It’s a methodology—an outline for living well, doing good, and enjoying life—a smorgasbord where you can take what you need and leave the rest.

Philosophy comes from the Greek word “philosophos” which means the love of wisdom. Stoic philosophy doesn’t evoke a higher power or enforce strict practitional dogma. It’s a collection of views based upon a collective experience—an experience gleaned from understanding the dichotomy of what you can control and what you cannot control. In other words, being stoic.

Another core principle of Stoicism is valuing your limited time. Memento Mori is an often-heard saying. Translated from Latin, it equates as “remember death” or to “appreciate the moment”. It’s also said, “You could leave life right now”. You’ll often see a Memento Mori image with a tulip representing life, a skull portraying death, and an hourglass reminding you of time. Many practicing Stoics carry Memento Mori and Four Virtues medallions in their pocket.

Although Greek was the main language used by the early Stoics, Latin is the most common carrier of Stoic quotes. Here are a few common Latin sayings and translations you’ll find in a brief study of Stoicism:

Summum Bonum — Living well, highest good, true virtue.

Festina Lente —Make haste slowly, faster is not better.

Carpe Diem — Seize the day, waste no time.

Fac, Si Facis — Do it, if you’re going to do it. Let the rubber hit the road.

Quidvis Recte Factum Quamis Humile Praeclarum — Whatever is rightly done, however humble, is noble.

Semper Fidelis — Always faithful, do the right thing.

Per Angusta Ad Augusta — Through difficulties to honors, the obstacle is the way.

Amor Fati — Love of fate, a reason, a purpose.

Fatum Ingenium Est — Character is fate, destiny.

Semper Anticus — Always forward, keep going, get better.

Vivere Militare Est — To live is to fight, train, life kicks us around.

Part of my research process in any subject is to encapsulate the key points on paper. I use sheets of 11 x 17 white bond and basically map out the concept and highlight the takeaways. Last week I took time off, and I did this mapping thing with the ideas of Stoicism and with the content of Meditations written by Marcus Aurelius. See the images. (Note from my wife: What kind of guy goes on vacation and spends his time perched at a woodland picnic table by our cottage reading and annotating scriptures quilled by an old dead Roman?)

I didn’t find Meditations to be an easy read, but it helps to know the context in which it was written. Scholars agree that Marcus Aurelius, who wrote it in Greek, never intended this work to be public. These were private thoughts that he journaled for himself during his period as Roman Emperor from 161 to 180 AD. There are twelve parts or “books” to Meditations, and they show a continual progression and evolving simplicity of his views on life. Particularly on death.

Scholars also agree that the books have nothing to do with mental meditation which is generally perceived to be a relaxation method. Likely, the works were never titled “Meditations” and nowhere in the text is the translation for “meditation” found. Some critics claim the work is a hoax as the documents didn’t surface until a thousand years after Marcus Aurelius’ death.

The original Greek to Latin manuscripts are said to be housed in the Vatican and are not available for public view. Numerous translations exist in English and other languages. Note that Marcus Aurelius spoke Latin as a working language but wrote in Greek which was the scholarly language of the day. The English version I read was prepared by Gregory Hays and is the version recommended by Ryan Holiday who offers an online course in how to read and interpret Meditations. It was a challenging read, but by following the course I found it well worth the time to help understand the Stoic mindset.

Stealing from Ryan Holiday and The Daily Stoic, here are 12 Stoic Rules for Life:

  1. Own the morning.
  2. Focus on what’s in control.
  3. Don’t suffer with imagined troubles.
  4. Treat success and failure equally.
  5. Do one thing every day.
  6. Make beautiful choices.
  7. Ask “Is this necessary?”
  8. Love your fate.
  9. Speak with the dead.
  10. Be strict with yourself and be tolerant with others.
  11. Turn obstacles upside down.
  12. Memento Mori. Be aware of your mortality and love life.

And stealing from Marcus Aurelius and Meditations, I’ll leave you with this quote:

“When you need encouragement, think of the qualities of the people around you have: this one’s energy, that one’s modesty, another one’s generosity, and so on. Nothing is as encouraging as when the virtues of wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice are visibly embodied in the people around us, when we’re practically showered with them. It’s good to keep this in mind.” ~Marcus Aurelius

IS THE MEANING OF LIFE A HAM SANDWICH? (ONE OF THOSE QUESTIONS MAKING YOU WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE IN THE FACE)

Thanks to Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck) – NYT #1 bestselling author, prolific blogger, deep thinker and common-sense guy for sharing his take on life’s meaning and your unique purpose. Really special to have Mark musing here at DyingWords.

You know the question. It’s the ultimate question. The question you and I and everyone has laid awake at night thinking about. The question that brings equal parts wonder and terror to our feeble minds. Why are we here? What is the point of it all? What is the meaning of life?

Well, fortunately, I figured it out while I was at the gym this morning. I’m pretty sure it’s a ham sandwich. And no, I’m not saying that just because I’m hungry. There’s an explanation here. I’m going to explain it, click-bait titles and all, in, oh, the next eight minutes or so.

First off, before we can even appropriately ask “What is the meaning of life?” we must first settle something more subtle and something more important. Namely, what is meaning?

What is meaning? That may strike you as terribly navel-gazey and ultra-philosophical. And if that’s the case, I invite you to think about ham sandwiches for a moment, and just stick with me for a minute. Because it’s important.

What does it mean for something to mean something? As humans, we have a constant need to attach meaning to everything that happens in our lives.

My mom hugs me—that must mean that she loves me. My boss complimented me—that must mean I do good work. It’s going to be sunny tomorrow—that must mean I can wear my super-cool SpongeBob tank top to school.

Meaning is the association that we draw between two experiences or events in our minds. X happens, then Y happens, so we assume that means X causes Y. Z happens, and we get really bummed out and feel awful, therefore we assume that Z sucks.

Our brains invent meaning the way dogs shit—they do it gleefully and not even realizing that they’re ruining the carpet. Our brains invent meaning as a way to explain all the crazy shit that is going on in the world around us. This is important, as it helps us predict and control our lives.

But let’s be real: meaning is an arbitrary mental construct. Fifty people can watch the exact same event and draw fifty different meanings from said event. That’s why there’s so much arguing in politics. That’s why eyewitnesses are so unreliable in court. That’s why your friends are sometimes the biggest assholes—because that meaning you just shared, to them, meant something completely different.

TYPES OF MEANING IN LIFE

Our brains slap together two different types of meaning:

Cause/Effect Meaning: You kick the ball, the ball moves. You tell your friend his hair is ugly, your friend slaps you in the face. You do X, and with reliable certainty, Y will result.

We all need Cause/Effect meaning to survive. It helps us predict the future and learn from the past. Cause/Effect meaning primarily involves the logical parts of our brain. Science, for instance, is the constant search of more and more Cause/Effect Meaning.

Better/Worse Meaning: Eating is better than starving. Making money is better than being broke. Sharing is better than stealing. Better/Worse meaning has to do with the nature of our values—what we perceive to be most important and useful in our lives. Better/Worse meaning relies mostly on the emotional parts of our brains. Generally what makes us feel good is what we immediately assume to be “good” or “better.”

Both forms of meaning evolved in our brains to help us survive. For thousands of years, humans needed to remember where certain food could be found, how various animals would respond when hunted, how weather patterns change and how to read the terrain. They also needed to know what would gain them acceptance within their tribe, what would curry favor from friends and earn approval from that sexy guy/gal in the loin cloth over yonder.

So in that sense, meaning is nature’s tool for motivation. It’s how evolution made sure we got shit done. Meaning drives all of our actions. When there is great meaning attached to something, like our child is sick and starving, we will go to insane lengths to make things right. People will often even go as far as to give up their lives for some grand sense of meaning (religion: every war ever). Meaning is that effective at moving people.

Conversely, when we feel we lack meaning in our lives, when shit just doesn’t seem to matter, when there’s no clarity on how or why things happen to us, we do nothing. We sit on the couch and twiddle our thumbs and watch lame reruns while complaining on the internet about lame reruns.

But here’s the kicker (and I swear I’m going to get to the ham sandwich): Meaning is a resource that we must cultivate in our lives.

Meaning is not something that exists outside of ourselves. It is not some cosmic universal truth waiting to be discovered. It is not some grand ‘eureka’ moment that will change our lives forever.

Meaning requires action. Meaning is something that we must continually find and nurture. Consistently.

Meaning is like the water of our psychological health. Without it, our hearts and minds will shrivel and die. And like water, meaning flows through us—what is important today is not what was important years ago; and what is important tomorrow will not be the same as what is important today. Meaning must be sought out and replenished frequently.

HOW TO FIND MEANING IN YOUR LIFE

In a very real sense, the meaning of life is therefore to create meaning. So how does one create meaning? Two ways:

Solve Problems: The bigger the problem, the more meaning one will feel. The more work you do towards that problem, also the more meaning you will feel. Solving problems basically means finding ways to make the world a slightly better place. It can be as simple as fixing up your aging mother’s dilapidated house. Or, it’s as complex as working on the new great breakthrough in physics.

The point here is not to be picky. It’s easy, when we start thinking of how insignificant we are on a cosmic scale of the universe, to start thinking there’s no point in doing anything unless we’re going to save the world or something. This is just a distraction. There are tons of small, everyday problems going on around you that need your attention. Start giving it.

Help Others: This is the biggie. As humans, we’re wired to thrive on our relationships. Studies show that our overall well-being is deeply tied to the quality of our relationships, and the best way to build healthy relationships is through helping others. In fact, some studies have even found that giving stuff away makes us happier than giving stuff to ourselves. Go figure.

As such, it seems to be a “hack” in our brains that helping out other people gives us a greater sense of meaning and purpose. Just the fact you can say to yourself, “If I died, then someone is better off because I lived,” creates that sense of meaning that can propel you forward.

THE TRAP OF SETTING GOALS

A lot of people find meaning through setting goals for themselves. They want the corner office, the big car, the fancy-pants shoes. It gives them a reason to wake up in the morning, a reason to bust their ass at work. It gives them something that makes them feel important and something to look forward to every day.

But, goals are a double-edged sword. You have to be careful. Goals are good tools for building motivation. The problem is that, by themselves, they are arbitrary and empty. Unless there’s a why behind the goal full of meaning, the goal itself will provide little long-term happiness or satisfaction.

Ever see star athletes flounder after retirement? Or a guy who finally made his millions become deeply miserable because he doesn’t know what else to do with his life?

Goals are dangerous because the meaning they provide when you’re working towards them is the meaning that is taken away once you achieve them. This is why all the superficial stuff like make a billion dollars, or own a Rolls Royce, or get your face plastered on the cover of a magazine all lead to a type of happiness that is shallow and short-lived—because the meaning is shallow and short-lived. There has to be a deeper reason for your goals. Otherwise, the goals themselves will be empty and worthless in the long-run.

Notice that it’s the athletes who aspire to be the best at their sport for some greater reason—to build a charity, to start a business, to transition into another career—who handle retirement the best. Notice it’s the millionaires who spent their life working towards a deeper cause that remain content once all of their goals are checked off the checklist.

But some goals don’t even have to be big and sexy.

Take a ham sandwich. I sat down to write this article hungry. That’s a problem in my life.  And I promised myself I’d pump out this draft before going and making myself a sandwich. That gave this hour some extra meaning.

And you know what? Maybe my wife’s hungry and I can make her one too. You know, make the world a better place and all that shit while I’m at it.

So what’s the meaning of life? Well, for me, right now, it’s a ham sandwich. What will yours be?

*   *   *

Thanks so much to Mark Manson for his witty yet wise insight into all things life. Mark is a writer, blogger and thinker who set the current trend of questioning conventional self-help gurus. His great book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck sold over a million copies and still burns the charts. That’s because Mark connected with people looking for no-bullshit truth.

Mark Manson reads a lot, writes a lot and shares a lot. Born in Austin, Texas, Mark educated in Boston and now lives in NYC with his Brazilian wife. Mark’s work makes himself think about solving problems, helping others, cause & effect and better or worse. He’s a thought leader and non-apologist for sticking-it to conventional self-help opportunists. Here’s Mark Manson’s best books.

The self-help book for people who hate self-help books. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck is all about self-improvement not through avoiding problems or always being happy, but rather through engaging and improving upon problems and learning to accept the occasional unhappiness. It’s a radical departure from anything else you’ve ever read, and that’s what makes it so powerful.

In Everything Is F*cked, Manson turns his gaze from the inevitable flaws within each individual self to the endless calamities taking place in the world around us. Drawing on mountains of psychological research, as well as the timeless wisdom of philosophers such as Plato and Nietzsche, he dissects religion and politics and the uncomfortable ways they have come to resemble one another. He looks at our relationships with money, entertainment and the internet, and how too much of a good thing can psychologically eat us alive. He openly defies our definitions of faith, happiness, freedom, and even of hope itself.

Models is a book on becoming an attractive man that’s based not on tricks, tactics, games or techniques, but on self-development. Its truths are backed by decades of psychological research. Its focus is on the emotional process of seduction rather than agonizing over logical steps. Its goal is to create powerful connections with women instead of trying to impress them.

Models is the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others. Stop acting like an attractive man and BE an attractive man.

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