Author Archives: Garry Rodgers

About Garry Rodgers

After three decades as a Royal Canadian Mounted Police homicide detective and British Columbia coroner, International Best Selling author and blogger Garry Rodgers has an expertise in death and the craft of writing on it. Now retired, he wants to provoke your thoughts about death and help authors give life to their words.

THE MAGIC BULLET IN THE JFK ASSASSINATION

118. Painting Of A NightmareUnited States President John F. Kennedy suffered two gunshot wounds during his assassination in Dallas, Texas, on November 22, 1963. The fatal bullet struck Kennedy in the top of his head and, literally, blew out his brains. Most people have seen frame 313 of the Zapruder Film that shows the president’s head exploding and there’s little dispute in the timing, nor placement, of this shot. The other bullet—the one that got Kennedy in the back, at the base of his neck—is far more controversial.

A1Officially, this bullet is known as Warren Commission Exhibit 399 and was said to strike JFK approximately 4.92 seconds earlier. This bullet allegedly cut clean through his neck, exited below his Adam’s Apple, and carried on to severely wound Texas Governor John Connally who was seated ahead of the President in the limousine. It was later recovered intact on a hospital stretcher in what’s been described as “pristine” condition and became the cornerstone of the Warren Commission’s Single Bullet Theory that postulates one bullet did tremendous damage to two men and came out looking like new.

LHO Backyard 2This “perfect” bullet has been held as proof of conspiracy in the JFK Assassination for over fifty years. To this day, three-quarters of Americans believe it’s impossible for one missile to perform incredible feats of altering trajectory, piercing seventeen layers of clothing, four layers of skin, fifteen inches of flesh, smash a rib and a wrist bone before coming to rest entirely intact in a thigh, then be suspiciously found and conclusively matched to the alleged assassin’s rifle. It had to be planted, conspiracy theorists tell you—set up to frame Lee Harvey Oswald—or else the bullet had to be magic.

But was it? Here’s what the investigation, ballistic design, and forensic science tell us about CE399—the “magic” bullet.

Dealey Plaza

At 12:30 pm the Kennedy motorcade rounded a tight left turn from Houston Street and headed west onto Elm Street in Dealey Plaza, right below the southeast, sixth-floor window of the Texas School Book Depository where Lee Oswald was concealed with his 6.5 X 52 mm Mannlicher-Carcano military surplus rifle.

TSBD Shots

Oswald fired his first shot from a distance of about 77 feet and missed. The best guess is that it hit a traffic light and deflected. Oswald’s second shot was fired approximately 6.57 seconds later from a 21-degree downward angle, at 189 feet, and is purported to have wounded both Kennedy and Connally. Oswald’s third shot was from 265 feet and it killed Kennedy. An estimated 11.49 seconds elapsed from the first trigger pull and allowed Oswald plenty of time to reload the bolt-action rifle twice. Oswald fled, leaving his rifle and three expended cartridges behind.

Parkland Hospital

A3The motorcade rushed to Parkland Hospital, five minutes away. Connally remained conscious and was partly able to stand. He was put onto a stretcher and wheeled into the Emergency Room, then transferred to an operating theater and surgically treated for wounds to his chest, wrist, and thigh. Kennedy was unconscious with a massive head wound, a punctured neck, and in the last gasps of life. He was laid on a different stretcher, taken to another part of the ER where, despite a gallant resuscitation effort, President Kennedy was declared dead at 1:00 pm.

Most of the medical staff who treated JFK observed a tiny hole in his throat that they assumed was a bullet’s entrance wound. The perforation was partly obliterated during an emergency tracheostomy and the president’s body was not rolled to inspect for a back wound.

A2Around 2:00 pm a Parkland hospital worker found an intact bullet between the pad and metal side flange on one of the Kennedy entourage stretchers. The bullet had obviously been fired as it displayed the engraved striations from the lands and grooves of a rifle barrel. Evidence put before the Warren Commission could not positively establish if the bullet was found on Kennedy’s stretcher or Connally’s and the bullet’s chain of custody was not clearly recorded. It passed between at least five people before coming into possession of the FBI firearms examiner who forensically matched it with Oswald’s sixth-floor rifle to “the exclusion of all other firearms”. This bullet weighed 158.60 grains and was entered into the Warren Commission’s evidence as Exhibit 399 and is now stored in the National Archives in Washington.

Kennedy’s Autopsy

President Kennedy’s body was shipped to Bethesda Naval Hospital in Washington where a postmortem exam was performed that evening. As history would come to regret, the examining pathologists were hospitalists and not trained in forensic methods, although one doctor was somewhat experienced with World War II battlefield gunshot wounds.

There were serious errors made in interpreting and recording JFK’s neck/back wound during the autopsy.

JFK Throat Exit

JFK Back WoundThe pathologists failed to notice the throat hole due to the tracheostomy incision and they failed to dissect this wound’s path from rear to front. They were correct in interpreting the defect in Kennedy’s back as a downward entrance wound due to the elliptical shape and the inward fold of the skin as well as the presence of circular bruising known as an abrasion collar. The pathologists attempted to probe the wound path with a metal rod but were blocked by rigor mortis of the scapular muscles. They speculated the bullet may have entered JFK’s back, then stopped and was worked out during the chest compressions during Parkland CPR.

The Bethesda pathologists used two anatomical reference points to record the back wound location—the acromion process which is the tip of the right shoulder and the mastoid process which is the bony protuberance below the right ear. They also anatomically referenced the entrance point to the right of the first thoracic vertebrae which is located at the top of the shoulder at the base of the neck.

A4

The pathologists seemed to overlook that the mastoid and acromion process points are valueless in fixing another anatomical location as both the acromion and mastoid are flexible parts of the body and can be moved with the twist of the head or rotation of the shoulder. To compound the location reference errors, Kennedy’s personal physician mistakenly signed the death certificate with the back wound identified at the third thoracic vertebrae—some three inches lower. This incorrect entrance location made the geometry of the suspected trajectory from the sixth-floor window appear impossible, thereby adding to conspiracy theories.

Kennedy’s Clothing

A5The FBI examined JFK’s suit jacket, his shirt, and his tie. The jacket displayed a defect in the rear which was also ovoid, indicating a downward angle of impact, and the fibers were bent inward. Traces of metallic contamination corroborated that it was a bullet hole. The shirt also showed a similar hole in the back and another in the front of the collar with outwardly pushed fibers. A corresponding nick in the tie knot also supported a back-to-front bullet travel but more confusion arose when the perforation in the suit jacket failed to line up with the hole in the shirt back.

This added more fuel to the conspiracy cover-up theories until years later when a photo was discovered taken moments before the shooting that showed JFK’s jacket being ridden or “bunched-up” his back. Taking this natural tendency for a jacket to rise up while the wearer is in a sitting position, the holes matched perfectly.

Connally’s Surgery

JFK Connally woundsGovernor Connally was treated for three separate injuries. He’d been shot from the rear with a similar caliber bullet as Kennedy with it striking below his right armpit, also in a downward angle but with a more elongated, ovoid entrance hole. This bullet traversed his chest and smashed five inches of his fifth rib before blowing out a two-inch diameter exit hole below his right nipple.

Connally suffered a secondary elongated entrance wound to the back of his right wrist with the bullet smashing through his radius bone and exiting with a nearly round hole. Four fragments of lead weighing 0.59 grains were recovered from the wrist and became Commission Exhibit 842.

The third wound was to Connally’s left thigh. It, too, was round and consistent with a 6.5 mm missile, however this void was shallow and contained only traces of lead too small to recover.

Connally’s Clothing

A8Another mistake in the JFK investigation was a failure to seize Connally’s suit jacket, shirt, undershirt, and pants at the hospital. By the time investigator’s realized their importance, Connally’s staff had them laundered and any trace of forensic gunshot evidence was erased. The holes were still obvious, though, and hadn’t been mended. Noteworthy was the shape of the perforations and the later-known, important fact that the exit hole in the front of Connally’s jacket was in the lapel.

The Warren Commission

The Warren Commission Members

The Warren Commission Members

The Single Bullet Theorythe SBT in JFK Assassination terminology—was crucial to supporting the Commission’s explanation of how Oswald pulled off the shots that first wounded, then killed President Kennedy, and did the collateral damage to Governor Connally. Transcripts of the hearings show the Commissioners struggled more with CE399 as a piece of evidence than anything else and they were not in unanimous agreement that the first shot missed and the second hit both men, although they had no doubt three rounds were fired and the last shot was the fatal impact to the President’s head.

A11So, according to the inquiry headed by the Chief Judge of the United States Supreme Court, it appeared the same bullet that blasted through President John Kennedy did the same to Governor John Connally—then disappeared—somehow to turn up on a random hospital stretcher—perfectly intact and in pristine condition with beautiful rifling marks that conclusively matched to a rifle proven to be owned by Lee Harvey Oswald.

“Bullshit!” say the conspiracy buffs. “CE399’s an obvious fake. Planted to set up a patsy.”

“How could this be?” ask those without tinfoil hats. “To do all that damage and still appear perfect? It seems like magic!”

But the SBT has officially stood the test of time and survived a reinvestigation of the assassination in 1978 as well as a modern computer-animated reconstruction of what went down in Dealey.

Live 6.5 mm Mannlicher-Carcano Cartidge From My Personal Firearms Collection

Live 6.5 X 52 mm Full Metal Jacket Mannlicher-Carcano Cartridge From My Personal Firearm Collection

A13Well, I have to admit that I doubted 399’s authenticity until one day—when I was already an experienced homicide investigator with a court-recognized expertise in the operation and identification of firearms—I was at the Firearms Section of the RCMP’s forensic laboratory and got a “JFK Ballistics 101” lesson from an examiner from the US Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms. He explained the construction of a 6.5 mm Carcano bullet and how it behaved in the JFK case.

Twenty years later, when I was researching a book on the JFK Assassination, I was further tutored on the Single Bullet Theory ballistics by Larry Sturdivan, a firearms expert who testified before the House Select Committee on Assassinations that revisited the JFK murder in 1978.

Understanding how CE399 behaved scientifically is the key to unlocking the SBT and ultimately leading to the truth in knowing how President Kennedy was murdered.

Bullet Construction

CE399 is a typical 6.5-millimeter diameter, 161 grain, round nosed, full metal jacket, military bullet that was one of four million made by the US Western Cartridge Company in the 1950’s and destined for the Korean war. Thousands were released to the civilian sporting market with many 6.5’s chambered to World War II Italian Mannlicher-Carcano rifles. Oswald bought his rifle through mail order in 1963, complete with a scope, for twenty bucks.

A15Full Metal Jacket (FMJ) bullets were mandated by the Geneva Conventions at the turn of the nineteenth century as a means of minimizing battlefield casualties. Up to then, mostly lead and partially metal-clad bullets were used that created massive damage to soldiers who were ripped apart by fragmenting projectiles. FMJ bullets were designed to minimize break-up. They were made to remain intact and pass through a body—effectively taking the soldier out of combat and tying up other resources in treating an injury, rather than having grotesque carnage on the battlefield.

A14FMJ bullets are built like an egg with a hard, outer shell composed of copper-zinc and an inner core of lead, usually mixed with zinc, silver, and antimony for hardness. But despite how sturdy bullets are built, they all have a point of fracture known as yield threshold. It’s based on a bullet’s density (hardness), its mass (weight), velocity (speed), and resistance (the medium of force acting against it like air, flesh, or bone).

CE399 was designed to be fired from Oswald’s Carcano at a muzzle velocity of 2,160 feet per second—far under the threshold where air resistance could cause its break-up. With diminishing velocity, the bullet became far less susceptible to the forces of distortion that could make it elastic (bending but recovering shape), plastic (permanently altering shape), or destruct (fragmenting or coming apart).

A17Another factor in bullet design is its gyroscopic stability—the spin set upon it by the lands and grooves of barrel riflings—much like a child’s top or quarterback Tom Brady’s football pass. Once a bullet is in-flight, it’s governed by gravity, the mediums of resistance, and a peculiarity called ballistic coefficient or its ability to overcome medium drag.

The 6.5 mm Carcano bullet has an exceptionally high ballistic coefficient based on its heavy mass (an average of 161 grains) relative to its small diameter. It’s a long, lean missile with an intentionally designed ability to overcome its break-up yield threshold and pass through mediums like air, cloth, skin, muscle tissue, ribs, wrists, and thighs while remaining intact.

Bullet Terms

Knowing about yield threshold and diminishing velocity are not enough to understand how CE399 behaved in the JFK Assassination. Factors like tipping (deflecting from a straight line and altering course), tumbling (going end-over-end), yaw (changing angle in flight), and presentation (going from nose-first to sideways as presented to a point of contact) all came into play in how CE399 ended up in it’s spent condition.

Victim Alignment

A7Much has been made of the “Magic Bullet” having to zig-zag in flight to align with the wounds evident in Kennedy and Connally. The Oliver Stone movie “JFK” was a terrible offender in perpetuating misinformation about how the trajectories were impossible based on the limousine layout.

A6Stone and other conspiracy theorists failed to study the seating arrangements where Connally was not directly in front of JFK, rather he was in a jump seat below and inward of the President. Taking the true picture, the trajectory in the limo accounts perfectly for the properly recorded wounds.

Sniper’s Nest Alignment

Dale Myers is the Emmy-Award winning producer of Secrets Of A Homicide where he developed a computer-generated 3D recreation for the 40th anniversary of the JFK Assassination. Myers took precise measurements of Dealey Plaza and combined them with known photographs and films taken of the murder to recreate exactly what happened.

A19Myers conclusively demonstrated how all the shots came from the sniper’s nest in the Depository, and how the second shot accounted for CE399’s trajectory, diminishing velocity, and how the SBT matches exactly with the frames of the famous 8-millimeter home movie of the assassination taken by Abraham Zapruder.

Zapruder Film

Aside from the ballistic and wound evidence of the Single Bullet Theory, the Zapruder film stands as a timeless witness as to how JFK and Connally were both shot at the same time.

A20Zapruder stood on a concrete pedestal near the nefarious Grassy Knoll and activated his camera once the Kennedy motorcade was well into Dealey Plaza on Elm Street, approaching him. With all due respect to Dale Myers, who thought Zapruder caught evidence of the first missed shot on film, this does not appear to be true and Oswald’s shot that probably hit the traffic light happened before Zapruder started rolling.

But what Zapruder did capture was conclusive evidence of the simultaneous strike that photographically corroborates the SBT.

It’s important to know there are many frames in the “Z” film and that it was shot at 18.3 frames per second. There was no sound. Frame 313 is the most sensational—by far—and it show the third 6.5 mm Carcano FMJ bullet exceeding its yield threshold by fragmenting and blowing pinkish gray matter into the air. In frame 313, the bullet did exactly what it was constructed to do.

223-224 FullBut, backing-up to frames 223—224, there’s a clear picture of one bullet striking two men at the same time.

In Z-223 the limo is seen emerging from behind the Stemmons Freeway sign. Everything’s fine, but Connally seems to be looking over his right shoulder to identify the location of the first gunshot as he said in his Warren Commission testimony.

Z-224 is captured 0.0546 of a second later. Connally’s jacket lapel has “flipped” or bulged as the bullet passes through him and is exposed as a dark image covering over his white shirt, right where the exit wound on his chest was. His right shoulder is clearly forced forward from the bullet’s impact.

By Z-225, the lapel is back to its original shape but Connally’s expression is changing and you can just see the first image of JFK emerging from the sign with his fists and elbows rising. The President had already been shot in the back.

Larry Sturdivan’s Reconstruction

A1There comes a point in any criminal investigation where evidence is put before a jury that requires an expert opinion to interpret it. The Kennedy case is no different. While I have a limited amount of recognized expertise in firearms and ballistics, as well as far more knowledge about John Kennedy’s murder than the vast majority of people, I’m going to defer to Larry Sturdivan who truly knows what he’s speaking of.

This paraphrases Larry’s explanation for how CE399 acted.

“Oswald fired his second shot—a 161 grain, 6.5 mm, FMJ Carcano bullet—when the limo was moving directly away from his sight picture at a combined downward incline of over 21 degrees.
The bullet discharged at 2160 fps and traveled 189 feet through the air, losing 135 fps and hitting Kennedy’s suit coat at 2015 fps—staying intact. It entered the soft mediums of cloth and flesh well below the 2400 fps velocity these mediums would need to break the bullet into pieces. Inside Kennedy’s neck, the bullet’s force created a pressure vacuum called a “temporary cavity” which altered its flight course by about 5 degrees upward.
The intact and unaltered bullet cut through the front of Kennedy’s neck, stretching the skin and—shored by the collar and tie—returned to appear as a tiny hole, much smaller than its 6.5 mm diameter. It now slowed to around 1840 fps and was beginning to tumble, altering its nose from a direct gyroscopic flight path to a sideways presentation.
The bullet hit Connally’s armpit in a 70-degree yaw and left the elongated hole in his clothes and skin. Now moving at 1450 fps, right below the yield threshold of being broken by bone, the bullet presented itself sideways to his rib and permanently deformed into a plastic state, neither pristine nor fragmented, but the bent and crushed base you see in CE399’s photos.
It blew out below Connally’s right nipple in a near backward position and entered his right wrist at + or – 500 fps with enough energy left to fracture the radius bone and deposit some lead fragments from the bullet’s open base. It was like squeezing toothpaste from a tube.
With almost no energy remaining—still near full weight and going only 135 fps—it cut the Governor’s pants and pushed a bit into his left thigh. No wonder it fell out, intact.”

A21By now you might buy into the Single Bullet Theory and that CE399 was capable of performing the “magical” feats it’s accused of. But I know you’re asking “How do you prove 399—reportedly found on whatever stretcher at Parkland—was the same bullet Oswald fired and did the damage?” The proof is in 399’s molecular composition and what it left behind in John Connally’s wrist.

Neutron Activation Analysis

A22NAA is the DNA of the JFK investigation. Unfortunately, DNA was unheard of in 1963 when the stretcher bullet was found. Despite 399’s multi-handling, today’s DNA sophistication would likely be able to identify Kennedy and Connally genetics on this little missile if it, in fact, passed through both. That would be the end of it—the Single Bullet Theory would be a fact and we could all go home.

But wait—genetics isn’t the only molecular forensic science available and there’s a lot of proof about CE399’s validity that turned up in the molecules of metallurgy.

In 1964, the FBI turned to a then-new science of non-destructive testing called Neutron Activation Analysis where they took the stretcher bullet,CE399, and Connally’s CE842 wrist fragments, and did a chemical signature much the same as today’s DNA analysis checks for biological signatures.

It was inconclusive.

But by 1978, NAA science had advanced and the bullet evidence was re-evaluated in the HSCA investigation of the JFK Assassination. The chemical ratio of antimony in CE399’s lead core was found to be so consistent with the antimony in Connally’s wrist fragments that the statistical probability of them coming from two different sources is virtually impossible.

In my opinion, the Single Bullet Theory is the single bullet fact and if CE399 behaved in any other way than in what it was designed to do—then it really would be a magic bullet.

*   *   *

Here are links to credible sites with information on the Single Bullet Theory:

Dale Myers – Secrets Of A Homicide Computerized Reconstruction Website Click Here

Dale Myers – Reconstruction Video  Click Here

Zapruder Film – Enhanced & Stabilized  Click Here

Warren Report – Chapter Three – Shots From The Texas School Book Depository  Click Here

WHO REALLY KILLED JONBENET RAMSEY?

A41On December 26, 1996, the beaten and strangled body of six-year-old JonBenet Ramsey was found hidden in the basement of her Boulder, Colorado, home. Immediately, police and media suspicion focused on her wealthy parents, John Bennet Ramsey and Patricia (Patsy) Ramsey, as being responsible. Nowtwenty years laterthe child beauty queen’s cold case has little new to offer except for the recent suggestion that JonBenet never really died and that she’s actually the current pop-star, Katy Perry.

A31Setting stupid conspiracy theories aside, the fact remains that someone viciously slaughtered JonBenet. The little girl became a cultural obsession and the person or persons guilty of JonBenet’s death were never prosecuted. Was it a lack of viable suspects? Lack of admissible evidence? A homicide investigation mishandled right from the start? Or was it failure to properly decipher the murder mystery’s most important clue—the ransom note?

Here’s a look at what the case facts tell us about who really killed JonBenet Ramsey.

Patsy Ramsey claimed to have come downstairs to the kitchen at five o’clock on Boxing Day morning and found a two-and-a-half page, hand-written ransom note on the landing of their secondary staircase. The author directed the letter at John Ramsey and claimed to represent a group of individuals from a foreign faction who were “in possession” of JonBenet. The note demanded a ransom of $118,000 be paid in certain bills or JonBenet would die.

A2Boulder Police recorded Patsy Ramsey’s report being phoned in at 5:51 am. Two patrol officers attended and took basic information but did not treat the Ramsey house as a crime scene. It was not secured, nor searched, and an unrecorded number of people had access to the residence until early afternoon when a detective took over and asked a family friend to assist John Ramsey to search the house for “anything unusual”.

The recorded events are confusing but it’s said John Ramsey located JonBenet’s dead body in a far corner of a basement wine cellar, covered with her bedroom blanket. She had a ligature cord around her neck, her hands were bound above her head, and her mouth was sealed with duct tape. John Ramsey apparently removed the tape and carried the body up to the living room where it was laid in front of the Christmas tree. The police were called back and the case began being treated as a homicide.

A32A forensic crime scene examination identified several points of unsecured ingress to the house but no sign of forced entry nor anything to clearly suggest an unauthorized intruder had been present.

Prominent was the ligature or cord around JonBenet’s neck that was tied to a wooden handle, described as a “garrote”. It was physically matched to a broken paint brush handle in Patsy’s art room which was in the basement, near the wine cellar. Similar pieces of cord were also found in the home. As well, the pad which the note-paper originated from was located on the main floor, as was the pen used to write it.

The Ramsey parents were not formally interviewed, no statements were taken, and continuity of the note—being a prime piece of evidence—as well as its forensic treatment was questionably handled.

A10The pathologist attended the residence at 6 pm and did a cursory examination of JonBenet’s body before removing her to the morgue. She was dressed in a white nightie and white panties with white tights overtop. The panties and tights were soaked in urine. Postmortem changes were advanced with rigor mortis already passing and early decomposition presenting.

Though the stages of mortis are not precise science for conclusively identifying the time of death, the body’s physical condition suggested that JonBenet had been dead for a considerable time, estimated between 10 pm the previous evening and no later than 5:51 am when the police report was received.

In pathologist John E. Meyer’s words — “Far closer to 10 pm than to 5 am.”

JonBenet’s autopsy determined her cause of death as “asphyxia by strangulation associated with craniocerebral trauma” and the medical diagnosis was:

I. Ligature strangulation

  1. Circumferential ligature with associated ligature furrow of neck
  2. Abrasions and petechial hemorrhages, neck
  3. Petechial hemorrhages, conjunctival surfaces of eyes and skin of face

II. Craniocerebral injuries

  1. Scalp contusion
  2. Linear comminuted fracture of right skull
  3. Linear pattern of contusions of right cerebral hemisphere
  4. Subarachnoid and subdural hemorrhage
  5. Small contusions, tips of temporal lobes

III. Abrasion of right cheek

IV. Abrasion/contusion, posterior right shoulder

V. Abrasions of lower left back and posterior left lower leg

VI. Abrasion and vascular congestion of vaginal mucosa

VII. Ligature of right wrist

VIII. Toxicology

  1. Blood ethanol – none detected
  2. Blood drug screen – no drugs detected

A23From reading this, it’s clear JonBenet received a massive blow to the upper right of her head from contact with a blunt object, approximately an hour or more before death. This is supported by the contusion (bruise, not a laceration or cut) to her scalp, the linear fractures to her skull, and the subdural (underlying) hemorrhaging (bleeding) in her brain. This cannot occur after death and the known pathology established a considerable time period elapsed between when the blow was administered and when the cardiovascular system stopped functioning. The pathologist opinioned that JonBenet was alive but unconscious for an hour, possibly an hour-and-a-half, before she was strangled.

It’s also clear that ligature asphyxia (strangling with the cord) was her death’s triggering mechanism and this is corroborated by the presence of petechial hemorrhages (tiny bloodspots) in her eyes and on her face. This is a classic symptom of mechanical strangulation and is peculiar to the airway being violently interrupted.

A16The presence of various abrasions and contusions are evident of physical violence being inflicted on JonBenet prior to death, as is the violation of her vaginal area. Her cheek abrasion is consistent with a slap to the face, her shoulder and legs marks are consistent with her still-alive body being roughly handled as if dragged, but caution must be taken in interpreting her vaginal injury as being consistent with sexual assault.

There was no presence of semen, however some blood spotting was noted in her underwear. Later forensic examination would identify a foreign pubic hair on her blanket and an unknown DNA sample on her underwear that was consistent with a male contributor.

The police and district attorney’s investigation focused on the improbability that a total stranger would break into the home, severely wound JonBenet, then kill her at least an hour later after packing her body from an upper bedroom and down two floors to the basement of a house in which three others were present—all the while hanging around to write a lengthy note.

A27From the start, Patsy Ramsey’s behavior was suspect—as was her husband’s. Though there was no suggestion of previous child abuse in the home, it was well known Patsy Ramsey selfishly promoted her daughter like a trophy doll who she desperately wanted to shine in fame and fortune.

As police and media attention centered on the Ramseys, they limited their contact with investigators and quickly “lawyered-up” until a controlled, counter-offensive in the media could be established.

A3The evidence against the Ramseys was examined by a grand jury empaneled during a ten-month period in 1998. The jury returned an indictment against John and Patsy Ramsey on charges of child abuse resulting in JonBenet’s death but was quashed by the district attorney who felt there was no reasonable likelihood of conviction. The grand jury’s findings were sealed and only released to the public in 2013, seven years after Patsy Ramsay’s death from cancer.

To this day, the smoking gun in JonBenet’s homicide is the alleged ransom note.

If the note is legitimate, then it’s a kidnapping that went sideways. If it’s fraudulent, it’s a murder staged to look like a kidnapping. Regardless, there’s no doubt the note’s author is responsible for killing JonBenet and it’s within the note where the killer reveals their true identity.

Let’s look at it:

A12

The note needs to be examined in three ways.

First—was there any forensic evidence present to physically identify the author? I can’t imagine it not being fingerprinted nor examined for DNA, however I can’t find any internet reference one way or the other and existing photos don’t show the normal discoloration associated with chemically checking for fingerprints on paper.

A33Second—what do forensic handwriting analysists say about the writer? A number of document examiners have analyzed the note and have eliminated John Ramsey as well as fifty-three other subjects as the author. But, they cannot rule Patsy Ramsay out as penning it. To be fair, no one conclusively states she was the writer but all agree the author intentionally attempted to disguise themselves.

Third—what does the science of statement analysis tell us? It’s here where the killer’s identity is revealed.

Let’s look at the note again:

*   *   *

Mr. Ramsey,

Listen carefully! We are a group of individuals that represent a small foreign faction. We don respect your bussiness but not the country that it serves. At this time we have your daughter in our posession. She is safe and unharmed and if you want her to see 1997, you must follow our instructions to the letter.

You will withdraw $118,000.00 from your account. $100,000 will be in $100 bills and the remaining $18,000 in $20 bills. Make sure that you bring an adequate size attache to the bank. When you get home you will put the money in a brown paper bag. I will call you between 8 and 10 am tomorrow to instruct you on delivery. The delivery will be exhausting so I advise you to be rested. If we monitor you getting the money early, we might call you early to arrange an earlier delivery of the money and hence a earlierdelivery pick-up of your daughter.

Any deviation of my instructions will result in the immediate execution of your daughter. You will also be denied her remains for proper burial. The two gentlemen watching over your daughter do not particularly like you so I advise you not to provoke them. Speaking to anyone about your situation, such as Police, F.B.I., etc., will result in your daughter being beheaded. If we catch you talking to a stray dog, she dies. If you alert bank authorities, she dies. If the money is in any way marked or tampered with, she dies. You will be scanned for electronic devices and if any are found, she dies. You can try to deceive us but be warned that we are familiar with Law enforcement countermeasures and tactics. You stand a 99% chance of killing your daughter if you try to out smart us. Follow our instructions and you stand a 100% chance of getting her back.

You and your family are under constant scrutiny as well as the authorities. Don’t try to grow a brain John. You are not the only fat cat around so don’t think that killing will be difficult. Don’t underestimate us John. Use that good southern common sense of yours. It is up to you now John!

Victory!

S.B.T.C

*   *   *

A34

 

The first thing that comes to my mind when reading the note is that it’s nonsense.

A37It’s complete and utter bullshit and here’s why:

A35

  • It’s very long with a lot of unnecessary, redundant information. It’s written on three pieces of paper which took a considerable amount of time to compose. True ransom notes are exceptionally rare and all are short and to the point: “We have your daughter! We will kill her if you don’t give us X-amount of money by __!. Wait for instructions!! DO NOT call the police or she dies!!!
  • The writer introduces themself as representing a “group of individuals from a small foreign faction“. Foreign? Faction? Who calls themselves a foreign faction?
  • Patsy had been up an hour before calling police

    Patsy had been up an hour before calling police

    The writer states to not respect Ramsey’s business, but not his country then changes the message by striking out “don’t” to reflect a friendlier tone.

  • The asking sum of $118,000.00 is a bizarre number. Some examiners equate it to a similar salary bonus amount John Ramsey recently collected but how would a foreigner know if it’s even in his bank account never mind how much?
  • Calling “tomorrow between 8 and 10 am” indicates the note was written before midnight on December 25th.
  • “The delivery will be exhausting so I advise you to be well rested” indicates someone thinking about a lack of sleep before the event is exposed.
  • And hence” is a unique phrase that’s rarely used except in very formal correspondence or in biblical phrases.
  • A18There are obvious misspellings in common words like “possession” and “business” while more easily erred words such as “adequate”, “attache (with the accent)”, “deceive”, “deviation”, and “scrutiny”. Otherwise, the writer uses proper punctuation, grammar, and sentence structure which indicates an attempt at disguise by a person with a fair degree of education.
  • The use of exclamation points in only the opening and closing is not realistic of a desperate person’s threat. You’d expect emphasis being put on the instructions to get money and threats to retaliate.
  • Beheaded” and “stray dog” indicate a feint towards some sort of middle-eastern ethnic decoy.
  • Proper burial” is indicative of someone who knew what JonBenet’s final disposal would be. Burial was the accepted practice in the Ramsays’ religious faith, rather than cremation.
  • The phrase “two gentlemen watching over” stands right out. “Gentlemen” being a term used in a ransom note? Totally unrealistic. And “watching over” is another term like “and hence” where it doesn’t remotely resemble normal speech, rather it reflects a biblical overtone where “God watches over”.
  • A44I advise you not to provoke them” and “I advise you to be rested” are passive statements and reflect a feminine touch.
  • Four times the writer uses the phrase “she dies.” If JonBenet was still alive when the note was written, the author would likely use the term “she will die”. This indicates the writer knew JonBenet was already dead.
  • The note’s address changes from “Mr. Ramsey” being used once to “John” being repeated three times. This is far too familiar for an unknown kidnapper and strongly indicates the writer knew John Ramsey personally.
  • The closing terms “Victory!” and “S.B.T.Cappear cryptic and of some personal, religious significance to the writer.

*   *   *

A45A principle behind the science of statement analysis is that truthful people rarely use synonyms. They remain consistent in language whereas deceitful people change language and weave in synonyms to distract. Another principle is that people expose their psychological profile in their writing.

So what does the JonBenet Ramsay note say about the author?

It’s clearly a deceitful attempt to distort the facts, using unrealistic, bizarre, and unbelievable demands to shift attention from the reality of the situation. It’s apparently written by a woman of higher education, with a religious background, familiar with John Ramsey, who can’t bear to bring JonBenet’s name into the equation, yet cryptically reveals a personal message.

A47It’s written in characters that can’t be eliminated from Patsy Ramsey’s known handwriting and it was written with a Sharpie pen and foolscap paper found in her home—the home in which JonBenet was murdered and who’s body was stashed on the cold basement floor.

Patsy Ramsey denied culpability until her death but denials are cheaper than a thrift store suit. A look at her psychological profile is telling.

A48Patsy Ramsay was a beauty queen, herself—crowned Miss West Virginia in 1977. She graduated from university with a B.A. in journalism and was a devout member of the Episcopalian church and a wealthy socialite in her community. Perversely, she flaunted an air of modest integrity while flogging every chance to sexually exploit her six-year-old daughter in front of every pageant and camera she could find.

Patsy Ramsey was an educated, articulate, and calculating woman. She was also very religious.

It’s in the Bible where the key to the ransom note’s lock is hidden.

The terms “watching over” and “and hence” are consistent with a religious mindset and they are known to be used in the Ramsey family Christmas message which Patsy wrote the year after JonBenet’s death.

The numeric figure “118” is highly revealing and it fits with a notable Bible passage recognized by the Episcopalian faith. It’s found in Corinthians 1:18.

For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

A46Significant are the note’s closings—“Victory!” and “S.B.T.C”. Victory is well established as a Christian slogan which refers to Christ’s triumph by rising from the dead and symbolizing the triumph of good over evil and the forgiveness and everlasting salvation of a soul from sin. “S.B.T.C” is the well-known acronym for “Saved By The Cross.”

The “Victory” reference is also revealed in Corinthians 15:51-57.

Behold, I tell you a mystery; we shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable must be put on the imperishable, and this mortal must be put on immortality… then will come about the saying that is written “DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP IN VICTORY. O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY? O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

In my opinion, a convincing case is made that Patsy Ramsay was the author of the ransom note and, therefore, the person who really killed JonBenet.

A25It’s also likely that John Ramsey had some knowledge and was covering up for his wife. He’s already had a previous daughter die—now a second—and he couldn’t bear to lose the rest of the family. Only he will know.

But this still leaves the question of why Patsy Ramsey killed her daughter? What were the horrific circumstances that led to such a senseless, barbaric crime?

I think the best theory is offered by Steve Thomas who is the original Boulder detective who investigated the case and wrote the book “JonBenet—Inside The Ramsey Murder Investigation“.

Detective Thomas postulates that Patsy and John Ramsey returned to their home around 10 pm Christmas Day after a social event. Patsy checked on JonBenet and found she’d been bed-wetting again. At the time, Patsy was already on emotional overload—about to pop a breaker. She was under severe psychological stress with heavy socialite commitments, seasonal depression, struggling to face her fortieth birthday, keeping the perfect faceand… who knows what all else.

A50With temper stretched, Patsy severely admonished JonBenet for the urinary mess and likely did an aggressive wiping simulation on her daughter’s crotch, accounting for the “abrasion and vascular congestion of vaginal mucosa”. This escalated to a violent event where JonBenet’s head was smashed into a hard, blunt surface such as a doorframe or piece of furniture which rendered her unconscious with a potentially lethal brain injury.

Possibly thinking JonBenet was dead and probably panicking, Patsy went into damage control which may have involved John Ramsey at this point. It’s inconceivable to think he didn’t know or at least suspect something.

Somewhere during the next hour to an hour-and-a-half, JonBenet was finished off with a garrote fashioned from available materials, her body was moved, and the stage was set to simulate a ritualistic killing. A plan was then devised to deceive the authorities by way of a concocted ransom note which contained a cryptic justification with some hope of divine reconciliation.

A4But what’s really evident to me—why I truly believe both Patricia and John Ramsey were culpable in JonBenet’s murder—is the date on the inscription they jointly approved for the headstone on their daughter’s grave. 

They knew she was dead before midnight.

TOP TWENTY-TWO TIPS FOR SELF-EDITING

grodgers-deadly-selfedit-cover-ebook-interior-1024pxEvery serious writer must grasp proper editing principles, regardless of their craft — literary fiction, non-fiction, true-crime, forensic and autopsy reports, short stories, essays, blog posts, legal judgements, copywriting, screenplays, employee assessments, business correspondence, requests for laboratory analysis, letters of reference and resignation, agent queries, and… especially when penning a deadly crime thriller. There’s no escape from effective editing because perfection is the mark of a polished professional.

But most of us can’t afford a professional copy editor, let alone paying thousands for a full developmental hand-holding. Learning to competently self-edit takes tremendous effort and amounts to taking a personal scalpel to your work, using the eye of a voyeur and the ruthlessness of an ax murderer. It also pays to have the conscience of a psychopath in being objective.

This weekend I’m releasing the detailed guide How To Self-Edit Deadly Crime Thrillers on Amazon—but I sure as hell didn’t do it alone.

Under Sue Coletta‘s eagle-eyed editing—Sue’s my collaborating, bestselling crime writer—and with contributions from twenty other prominent professional writers and editors, this No BS Guide With 101 Killer Tips is designed to help your self-editing process, no matter what your line of work. It’s simply the best collection of self-editing advice we can find.

From the No BS Guide, here are 22 of the top 101 tips for self-editing.

Tip #22 — Understand Conventional Editing Stages

All editing stages overlap and there are different industry terms for the same thing—lines between each type of edit being blurry rather than bold. The clearest explanation I’ve found comes from Marcy Kennedy, a writer and editor who has her own great series of craft guides. (Check her website on my resource web page.) Click Here

Marcy says:

“To me, there are Development edits and Copy edits. That’s it. Developmental edits address the story structure, the telling of the story, the comprehension of the story, the consistency of the story, and every element that makes the story complete, engaging, and tight. Copy edits do not address story issues. They address grammar, punctuation, spelling, typos, formatting, sentence and paragraph structure, word use, etc. But, a good copy editor will alert an author if development issues still exist.”

Let’s look at how the conventional terms fit in.

Developmental or Macro Editing — Deals with the big picture items in layers 1 – 6 on the pyramid. It’s also called outline, comprehensive critique, substantive review, structural assessment, and content edit. This is a look at story issues—characterization, setting, plot, show vs tell, backstory, POV, dialogue, pacing, goals, stakes, and motivation.

Marcy Kennedy - Writer & Contributing Editor

Marcy Kennedy – Writer & Contributing Editor

Line or Micro Editing — Covers more easily fixed issues like word choice, paragraph flow, awkward sentences, eliminating redundancy, catching clichés, and style quirks. It’s about identifying weak and murky spots. It hovers between levels 4, 5, & 6.

Copy Editing — Makes the manuscript follow the rules of grammar, punctuation, spelling, and word choice in layer 7, but it’s not beyond recognizing problems still living in the lower layers.

Formatting — Gets the manuscript ready for submission to the next set of eyes, whether it’s to another editor, agent, publisher, or uploading to eBook format. It’s taking a complete, working manuscript and making it an acceptable, professional document.

Proof or Script Reading — Corrects typos and other overlooked errors like punctuation, capitalization, numerals, and spacing. No big changes are made at this stage. It’s your last minute check because none of the previous stages will catch everything.

Editing

Tip #21 — Revision vs Editing

You could say all revising is editing, but not all editing is revising. Huh? In that play-on-words, editing is not looked at as changing anything big. By the time you get to the “editing” stage, all the heavy work is done. Take this for what it’s worth, but it fits with two self-editing acronyms you should know:

  1. Revision is ARMS — Add. Remove. Move. Substitute.
  2. Editing is CUPS — Capitalize. Usage. Punctuation. Spelling.

Tip #20 — Four Pillars of Revision

I like this quote, although for the life of me I can’t remember where I got it. Outstanding writers primarily master a limited number of the most important writing principles. While self-editing, pay attention to the four pillars of writing and revision.

  1. Structure — Organizing the order.
  2. Style — Voice. How you write.
  3. Readability — Your presentation.
  4. Grammar — The correct and acceptable form.

Tip #19 — Next-Day Revision

image007You’ll hear advice from seasoned writers, like Stephen King, that it’s best to just bang away at the first draft until it’s done, then go back and start the revision process—rationale being that it’s more important to keep the words flowing. Fix it later, he says. I’m not so sure about that, but then keep in mind that Stephen King has natural story sensibilities, so it works for him. You and I, on the other hand, should probably use a more pro-active approach.

I do next-day revision and all I can say is that it works for me. It keeps me grounded in the story and allows to me look at it with fresh eyes in the morning. On a good day—a really good day—I get around 2,500 words done. When I look at the previous day’s work, I invariably find glaring errors, overwriting, and general structure issues.

It really helps keep the story in perspective. The way I look at it—if you were to peck away until 80K words were done, it’d be a long time since you hid that dwarf in the closet. When you go back over that early chapter in a month or two, you’ll have no frickin’ idea why you stuffed him there in the first place.

Tip #18 — Get Into An Editing Mindset

Writing and editing are two separate processes, each stemming from two different parts of the brain. Writing is mostly subconscious, from the creative right-brain. Editing is consciously done, using the analytical left-brain.

image010When we read our own writing, we tend to not actively read what’s on the screen or page. We see what we intended to write. Something happens in our brain that changes how we see the words. The more familiar we are with our own words, the more difficult it is to spot errors. Because of this subjective view, it’s exceedingly difficult to self-edit if we stay in a writer’s mindset.

There was a research project in the U.K. that tested readers’ ability to read past errors. Because we’ve been conditioned to read the first and last letters in a word, we’re often unaware that we subconsciously absorb reversals of letters. This is inherently compounded when we re-read our own work, as we’re conditioned by already knowing the material, especially if it’s fresh in our mind. This example is an eye-opener:

Tip #17 — Put the Manuscript in a Drawer

You hear this tip from everyone and it’s the frickin’ gospel. Nothing gives you a more objective view of your work than some time off. Most writers suggest taking at least a month after finishing the first (rough) draft before going to even the macro edit. I think two months is better, if your deadline can afford it.

Tip #16 — Less Is More

This is another top tip that writers hear repeatedly. It’s time to repeat it again. With every part of your work, ask yourself these three questions:

  1. What do I not need to say?
  2. What job is this doing?
  3. If I remove it, will the piece fall apart?

image011Effective brevity is the mark of a great writer—simplicity and economy. Knowing what to cut—and what not to cut—is a major skill in self-editing. There’s a balance, though, and common sense dictates that purpose calls the shot if a piece stays or goes.

Consider why you placed it. Does it have meaning? Does it carry sound and rhythm, which is the physicality of language? But be careful with this. If you cut simply because the material doesn’t have immediate meaning, you risk missing out on other aspects of language, which is the vehicle of storytelling.

Here’s a great tip from thriller writer Alexandra Sokoloff:

“The most useful tool for editing is a single word:  WHY? Why is my character doing this? Why is my character doing this now? Why is my character doing this here? Why does my character react this way? Why am I writing this scene from this character’s point of view? Why am I choosing these details to describe what my character experiences? Why did I include this? Why? Why? Why?”

Tip #15 — Understand Your Voice

image012Your writing voice is the one thing that’s unique to you. It’s your most valuable asset—so valuable that you should buy some insurance on it. And it’s the one thing you have to get right. Right from the start. It’d be a bitch to go back and self-edit voice, if it can even be done. But what is “Voice”?

It’s your relationship with language—how you use language. Voice comes from the people you’ve met, the books you’ve read, the education you have, and the worlds you’ve inhabited—not just in your body, but in your mind. It’s your personality. It’s your attitude toward your writing. Your passion shining through your prose.

Voice is your distinctive way of choosing and stringing words together—your writing accent, your views, culture, biases, and formal training. It’s using some goddam profanity every now and then. It’s imagery. Being serious, stuffy, snarky, and sarcastic. Being funny, silly, foolish, and stupid. It’s your level of confidence speaking through. Your rhythm, cadence, tone, and mood. It’s your emotional guts spilling out.  It’s relating gut to gut, not brain to brain. No editing in the world can take an intellectual exercise and make it emotional.

Remember, Crime Thrillers aim to evoke emotion in your reader. Get emotional when you write, and then again when you revise. “No tears in the writer. No tears in the reader. No emotion in the reader. No interest in the story.”

I like this definition by Grammar Girl, Mignon Fogarty, who gave me permission to quote her:

A2“Voice is the distinct personality, the style, or the point of view in a piece of writing or any other creative work. Voice is what Simon Cowell is talking about when he tells American Idol contestants to make a song their own and not just do a note-for-note karaoke version. Many musicians have played The Star-Spangled Banner, for instance, but there’s a world of difference between the Boston Pops’ performance and Jimi Hendrix’s, even though the basic melody is the same. In writing, the New York Times and the New York Post may cover the same story, but their headlines are likely to be quite different. For example, when Ike Turner died, the New York Times had a straightforward headline: ‘Ike Turner, Musician and Songwriter in Duo With Tina Turner, Dies at 76’; whereas the New York Post went for a bad pun: ‘Ike Beats Tina to Death’.”

Is there an ideal voice? Nope. But my advice is to lighten up. Personally, I’m not big on sarcasm or stuffiness. Ever go to a party with lawyers and politicians? I have. They’re boring as shit because they’re bound by the restraints of graduate degrees and academic correctness. Ever hang with cops & corners? I have. They’re a blast. They’re like honey badgers. They don’t give a fuck what they say.

A3I like hearing a natural, open, appealing, and charismatic tone and style that draws me in and binds me with storytelling. Ever read foul-mouthed Chuck Wendig? Hilarious crime writer Meg Gardiner? Listen to quadriplegic, blog-king Jon Morrow? Or follow opinionated Johnny B. Truant? Now those folks have a voice. Let’s face it. Some people are just more interesting than others.

Voice is the way you put words to paper. The way you say it. It’s your personality coming alive on the page. It’s not the paint on the wall. It is the wall. Check out a blog post I wrote called 6 Elements of Your Writing Voice. Click Here.

For your work to be successful, your reader has to hear your voice telling the story. Nothing else matters if she can’t relate to your voice. She wants you to sound confident, intelligent, personal, authentic, trustworthy, and even vulnerable. She wants to be your friend and follow you around.

** Here’s Sue’s editing remark and she’s making a good point — “This statement only holds true if writing in omniscient. If you write in deep POV, the reader must hear “the character’s” voice, not the authors. Not sure how you want to clarify this.” **

I think I’ll just let her remark speak for itself. I have yet to write in Deep POV and she’s mastered the technique.

A16

So, when revising, be natural. Don’t overthink. And be careful not to cut your own voice’s throat.

Tip #14 — Brevity

This piece of revising advice is from Joseph Pulitzer:

“Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and above all, accurately, so they will be guided by its light.”

And then there’s this beauty from William Strunk, Jr. from Elements of Style. No one has ever captured (in 63 words) the essence of brevity in writing:

A4“Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine have no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer makes all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tells.”

This is where the advice, “Resist the urge to explain (RUE)” comes into play. It works with subtext, or what’s best left unsaid, which is a powerful dialogue tool. Say something once and leave it at that. Think superfluous redundancy when editing.

Tip #13 — Look Up Esoteric Words

If you’re going to use hifalutin language, make sure it’s right. Even words you use in everyday, normal speech may be slightly off, but they must be correct in published work. The more audacious you are with language, the more perspicacious you need to be in looking up proper usage. People will only know you should have looked up a word to see what it means if you didn’t.

Do yourself a self-editing favor and keep an online dictionary in your top toolbar. I like Dictionary.com. Click Here

Tip #12 — Little Red Writing Book

One of the best writing, therefore editing, resources I’ve found is The Little Red Writing Book by Brandon Royal. Brandon generously shared this quote:

A5“Making changes to your writing is annoying and grueling. But eventually, with changes made, you will likely be satisfied with what you have written and not want to add or delete anything. This is the point at which your writing is finished—your writing is ‘standing still’. Unpolished writing is like shifting sand in a desert storm. Eventually, the storm ceases and the sand sits still. The word ‘finished’, when referring to writing, should really be enclosed in quotation marks because writing is never actually finished. With respect to writing done for everyday purposes, completion is an end in itself. However, for more permanent written works, such as novels, writing can be continued indefinitely because it can always be improved. Even published books can be reworked and re-edited. Weeks, months, and years after a book is published, an author will invariably contemplate changes.”

I rate The Little Red Writing Book as a resource right up there with The Elements of Style and On Writing. When I contacted Brandon asking permission to use his quote and comparing it to these timeless books, he replied:

A6“Here’s how I compare the red book to The Elements of Style, which of course I like and recommend. The Elements of Style is a short grammar book with some style thrown in. The Little Red Writing Book is a style book (Structure, Style, and Readability) with a little grammar thrown in. An indisputable strength of the red book is that it contains short exercises and proposed solutions. After all, how can we learn writing without doing exercises?”

Click Here for Brandon Royal’s website and view all his works, including his updated The Little Gold Grammar Book.

Tip #11 — Common Commas

It’s said that ninety percent of writers use commas correctly seventy-five percent of the time, but only one percent of writers use commas correctly ninety-nine percent of the time. The advice of using the comma whenever you pause is misleading. The best way to understand commas is that they’re divided into four usage types.

  1. Listing comma — Separates items in a series. “The four main editing processes are rough draft, developmental, copy, and proofread.” The final comma before the word and is optional. It’s called the Oxford or Serial comma. I always use it, because my English teacher drilled it into me, and I’m now too old to change. Besides, you can’t be misunderstood for using it, but leaving it out could get you in trouble. Remember this line — “The highlights of our tour included meeting Nelson Mandela, a ninety-year-old parachutist and a dildo collector.”
  2. Bracketing comma — Sets off parenthetical expressions. “Sue, also a terrific crime writer, is a deadly editor.”
  3. Joining comma — Separates independent clauses connected by coordinating conjunctions such as and, but, yet, or, and for. “The entire No BS Guides will be available in one print-on-demand book, yet most readers will download them electronically.”
  4. Omission comma — Indicates missing words, particularly and. “It was a dark, stormy night.” There’s an interesting way to test this. If you can insert and between dark and stormy, then a comma is required. Also, reverse the words to read, “It was a stormy, dark night.” If the sentence still makes sense, you know a comma is necessary.

Here’s a handy image with twelve comma rules:

image020

Tip #10 — Learn from Other’s Mistakes

I read this in Writers Digest and Chief Editor, Jessica Strawser, allowed me to quote it:

“Wrong-word errors are not only embarrassing but also costly, as publisher Penguin Books Australia can attest. In 2010, they were forced to reprint 7,000 copies of the cookbook Pasta Bible because a recipe called for adding ‘salt and freshly ground black people’ (instead of black pepper). Oops! That slip cost Penguin $20,000 to correct.”

They probably ground up the proofreader.

Tip #9 — Mindset

The right mindset is not just important in self-editing—it’s critical. Writing and editing are solitary disciplines, and it’s human nature to want to socialize. It’s so easy to slip over to Facebook, Tweet something, check email, peek at Pinterest… Here are some bullets of advice that’ll keep your self-editing hat on:

  • It’s a chicken and an egg thing. You can’t be a good self-editor without being a good writer, and you can’t be a good writer without being a good self-editor. Practice makes you better (not perfect). Your goal is to maximize professionalism.
  • A7Set specific time aside for editing. I do prefer to write in the morning and edit in the afternoon. I’m always working on multiple projects and this schedule helps efficiency.
  • Deal with distractions. Shut off the TV and radio. I can’t concentrate with blabbing in the background. Set your cell to voice mail. Put out the cat. Feed the dog. Close the door.
  • Stay off social media. (Yeah, yeah. Easier said than done.) A prominent writer I know uses a separate computer for her writing and self-editing that doesn’t have an internet connection.
  • Some put headphones on and listen to rain sounds and waves, washing on the beach. Try classical, or flute, or harp.
  • Go to a different place than where you write. Public libraries work great, and it puts you out with other (quiet) people. That’s until a birthday party arrives with thirty, five-year-olds accompanied by a balloon-animal tying clown that looks like Pennywise from It. That actually happened to me while I was self-editing this guide.
  • Now I go to a university library where I can’t get wi-fi without a password. I’m not distracted by the web, and I get energized by all the young people and books around me.
  • Get two hats or two vests that say “Writer” and “Editor”. Seriously. I’ve heard of this, and am thinking of trying it myself.
  • Get plenty of rest and exercise.
  • A8Take Hemingway’s advice: “Write drunk. Edit sober.”
  • Focus on what’s best for the book and for the reader, because that will be best for you.
  • Develop thick skin. I had a negative comment on my Huffington Post blog the other day and it irked me. I got up, took a break, accepted that the commenter had a point, and learned from it. Get used to it, because you’re going to get some poor reviews. Sometimes mean people are right.
  • Track your bad habits. I have a problem with tic-words (just, that, then, turn, actually, and like, are my worst) and with tense switching. I’ve written them in red on my whiteboard and on a little yellow sticky-note beside the screen.
  • It’s nearly impossible to “toggle” the creative left brain and instantly make it the analytical right brain. There needs to be a bit of time separation, so take a break between processes. The writer and the editor need to be on vacation from each other.
  • Compartmentalize. Focus on one thing at a time. That’s why the pyramid method is so effective. Speaking of effective—whether you like him or not—Bill Clinton was one of the most effective presidents in getting his daily agenda done, and he attributed it to his ability to compartmentalize tasks.
  • A11Know there’s no “magic bullet” to the art and craft of self-editing. It’s a combination of learning and applying the skills and maintaining a passion. The more editing you do, the better writer you’ll become, and the less editing you’ll have to do as your career advances. And that’s one of the best tips I’ve found.
  • In the Crime Thriller genre, it’s okay to occasionally break the rules. Just know what the rules are and why you’re breaking them when you do.
  • Reading other Crime Thrillers is probably the best way to tune your subconscious to absorb the techniques and structure needed to write and edit in the genre. Go to a used bookstore and buy cheap paperbacks. Red ink the snot out of them. Deconstruct their plots. Listen to their dialogue. Analyze their characters. Their scenes. Their pace.
  • Read widely. Go outside the genre and read classics, sci-fi, or erotica, if it works for you. If you just read what everyone else in the genre is reading, you’re just going to write what everyone else is writing.
  • You’re going to experience self-doubt. We all do. Just keep at it—one word at a time.
  • Be active on social media. Find people like you on the internet. Don’t be afraid to reach out and connect. That’s how Sue and I met. Make Facebook friends. Say Hi on Twitter. Share things. Comment on blogs and encourage others. You’ll find the writing community is exceptionally generous, as long as you’re genuine and also help others.
  • Believe in yourself. If I can write a bestseller, you sure as hell can, too.

AA2

 Tip #8 — Other Practical Stuff

The last tip was mostly theoretical. These next bullets mean to be practical. In no particular order:

  • Put time between stages. I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. I think it’s the most important tip. How much? As much as you can.
  • Run electronic spelling and grammar checks first. This quickly finds multiple errors and gets them out of the way, saving time and energy, which you can spend on improving structure, characters, and dialogue—or better yet, working on your next Crime Thriller.
  • Edit in a different medium than you write. Print off your manuscript and red ink it. Go to a different computer screen size. Change the font type or size. Change the spacing. Change the color. Download it as a pdf.
  • Read out loud. Great tip! Works like a hot damn (excuse cliché), especially for dialogue. If you have to breathe more than three times in one paragraph, it’s too long for a Crime Thriller.
  • Ask, “Would anyone really do, think, or say this?”
  • A9Read backward. Weird, but it works. This is because when you write, your brain knows where it wants the next sentence to go. In reverse, the familiar pieces become foreign and your focus improves.
  • Proofread chapters out of order. This takes you out of the story to view it from a different perspective.
  • Proofread line-by-line with a ruler.
  • Proofread one word at a time.
  • Attack show vs. tell with two different colored hi-liters. Use yellow for show and green for tell. Watch the color patterns.
  • Print your margin notes neatly. Nothing’s worse than going back and saying WTF was that about?
  • Double space your working manuscript.
  • Edit while writing. If something is obviously wrong, fix it right then.
  • If something is troubling, but you can’t quite figure out why BOLD IT and move on. Don’t break the flow. It’ll be easy to spot later on.

Tip #7 — Saving Your Work

Okay, this sounds like a no-brainer, but if you’ve ever lost thousands of words because you were too busy/careless/forgetful/stupid to back-up (like I’ve done) you’ll never let that happen to you again. Here are some saving suggestions:

  • Save to the cloud. Simple and foolproof. (Until the cloud crashes)
  • Use an online saver.
  • A12Data sticks. USB sticks. Thumb drives. Flash drives. Whatever you want to call ‘em. Small-bite ones are cheap—actually free as promotions from some vendors. I picked up a box full of 2-Gigs at a trade show.
  • External hard-drives with auto-timed backup. Could be a cheap investment.
  • Hit save often. Every five hundred words or five minutes, whichever comes first.
  • Make each revision a Save-As file with a revision number and date in the title.
  • Make a separate folder for each manuscript rather than storing in general documents.
  • Save in several document formats. I recommend Word, Word.doc, and Rich Text as they format best with outside parties.

Tip #6 — Tap Into Technology

Think about how far we’ve come in writing technology that makes self-editing so, so much simpler—the chisel and tablet, quill pen & ink, ballpoint and legal pad, ribbon typewriter, carbon paper, whiteout, word processor, MS Word, Scrivener, Google Docs, SIGIL, JUTOH, Calibre, WPS Writer, Adobe in Design, Page Plus… what’s coming next?

Here’s a look at tech-stuff I’ve found:

MS Word

  • A13Spend time getting to know the editing features in Word. I’ve tried other software like Scrivener, but it has a steep learning curve. When I found out that your manuscript still has to be reformatted from Scrivener to Word for submissions to an agent or publisher, as well as for HTML formatting as an eBook, I didn’t see much advantage to it. It does have some cool features for organizing your projects, though.
  • The entire publishing industry uses Word. Want to know why? Click Here  Eventually your manuscript is going to be put into Word to become a book, so you might as well get used to it.
  • Get familiar with Track Changes — Accept/Reject, Balloons, Bubbles, Insertions, Deletions, Strike-throughs, Underlines, Show Markup, as well as Final and Original Views.
  • Know the Keyboard Shortcuts for MS Word. This is an immense time saver. Click Here
  • Use WordTips. This website is an excellent resource for using MS Word. Click Here
  • Learn to make self-editing macros — Great stuff at TechTools For Writers. Click Here
  • Use the biggest ass-saver in the system—CTRL+Z—which is Word’s undo feature.

Editing Software

A14There is a lot of software available for both PC and Mac—some free, some expensive—but remember you usually get what you pay for. Here’s a list of the most popular that I’ve found, not in any particular order.

I can only vouch for Grammarly because I downloaded the free version to try out on this manuscript. So far, I love it, but then Sue loves her Word editing feature. Don’t you, Sue? I can’t vouch for any of the others because I haven’t used anything except their demos:

  • Grammarly — Love it. Wouldn’t live without it.
  • StyleWriter4 — Oldest in the business and seems to be the most popular. It’s an add-on for MS Word. Free on 14-day trial.
  • GrammarCheck — Appears excellent. The basic model is free.
  • Ginger — New kid on the block and is stealing the show.
  • StackEdit  — Very sophisticated.
  • Hemingway App — Very popular, especially for blog posts. Works great for brevity.
  • Markable — Sophisticated but user-friendly.
  • Write URL — Simple & free.
  • Quabel — Claims to be distraction-free and lives in your browser, whatever that means.
  • editMinion — Great for first passes and picking up grammar, adverbs, and passive voice. Basic is free.
  • ProWritingAid — Free to 3K words and works with Word & Scrivener. Great for checking blog posts.
  • AutoCrit — Free under 500 words.
  • SmartEdit — Fully free for 10 days.
  • WordRake — Free for 7 days.
  • Wizards For Authors — Templates for novel writing and editing.
  • Cliché Cleaner — Kinda interesting.
  • WriteWords — Word and phrase frequency finder.

Links to these editing software sites are on my website’s resource page. Click Here

Text-To-Speech (TTS) Generators

A15These things are cool on one hand and annoying on the other. You cut & paste your text into them and they audibly read it back to you. Some are great, with different accents and languages. Some are terribly robotic. It’s another “you get what you pay for” thing. In no particular order, here’s some of what’s out there:

  • Adobe Read-Out-Loud — Converts pdf to voice.
  • NaturalReader — Seems high quality.
  • NeoSpeech — Also seems high quality.
  • OddCast — Free demo and multi voices.
  • FromTextToSpeech — Fairly basic.
  • Text2Speech — Free and versatile.
  • YAKiToMe! — Free and easy to use.
  • ReadSpeaker — Sophisticated.
  • Ivona — Amazon’s TTS app.
  • iSpeech — Very high quality.
  • SpokenText — Minimal but free.
  • ImTranslator — Great for English second language writers.

Links to these Text-to-Speech software sites are on my website’s resource page. Click Here

Tip #5 — Editor-Ready Checklist

This tip is shared by freelance editor and author Tanya Egan Gibson who published this Are You Ready for a Freelance Editor eight-point checklist in Writers Digest:

  1. Tanya Egan Gibson - Contributiong Editor

    Tanya Egan Gibson – Contributing Editor

    This is not my first draft of my manuscript. I have written several drafts.

  2. I have waited at least three weeks since writing my last draft and have then reread it.
  3. I honestly feel that my manuscript is as strong as I can make it.
  4. I am ready to hear honest feedback that might require me to do a significant amount of additional work.
  5. I understand that an outside reader’s reaction to what I’ve written may be different from what I intended that piece to convey.
  6. I really want to learn how to make this piece the best it can be—and am willing to do what it takes to accomplish that.
  7. Which of these problems offer the most potential for conflict and drama?
  8. How does this problem affect other characters?

When you can answer “yes” to each point, then you’re ready for other eyes.

Tip #4 — Proofreading

Susanne Lakin - Writer and Contributing Editor

Susanne Lakin – Writer and Contributing Editor

Final proofreading is done after all the other editing steps are complete. Although proofreading is an ongoing process—if you see an obvious error anywhere along the way, it makes sense to correct it then—the real proofread comes after formatting is finished. Keep in mind that copy editing is making sure the content is absolutely right before formatting. Proofreading is about catching small errors after your formatting is done, like these:

  • Spelling, punctuation, and typos.
  • Small grammatical errors.
  • Small stylistic problems.
  • Misused words.
  • Layout errors.
  • Inconsistent spacing in sentences and paragraphs.

Tip #3 — Legal Stuff

Copyright infringements are serious matters and they apply to written content, song lyrics, poetry, verbal quotes, online images, and many other expressions.

A22Copyright protection is a gray area, and the best advice for using someone else’s original material is to simply ask permission. It’s so easy to do in the electronic age. Just send a polite email explaining what you’d like and make sure you offer full attribution for the material.

I’ve done that with every contributor to this guide with the exception where I’ve only referenced and linked their Open Source—Public Domain content. That’s different from directly cutting and pasting into your work. Here’s an example of permission not being necessary, where I simply link to Jane Friedman’s website and her valuable article on the Fair-Use Doctrine. Click Here

You’ll eventually have a copyright page in your published book, regardless if indie or traditional, and it should conform to the standard of the country you’re publishing in. Each country has a slightly different twist on copyright protection, but there is one universal principle that applies. Here’s a Fair-Use quote from the U.S. Patent Office website:

“Copyright does not protect ideas, concepts, systems, or methods of doing something. You may express your ideas in writing or drawings and claim copyright in your description, but be aware that copyright will not protect the idea itself as revealed in your written or artistic work.”

Translation: The words may be yours, but the idea belongs to everyone. There’s a big difference between the general concept of an idea and your unique, written expression.

A23What’s this got to do with tips on self-editing Crime Thrillers? Lots. When using material that came from somewhere else, always ask permission and get it in writing. It’s ass-covering at its worst and tremendous insurance against a lawsuit at its best. After all, you’d expect the same protection for your own unique, written expression.

Tip #2 — Editing Quotes

These are some enlightening quotes from writers that I thought needed sharing. Yes, they all fall under the open source, public domain, and fair-use doctrine.

  • Katerina Klemer — “Manuscript. Meanuscript. Moanuscript. Manurescript. And so on.”
  • Stephen King — “Only God gets it right the first time and only a slob says, ‘Oh well, let it go. That’s what copy editors are for’.”
  • Russel Lynes — “No writer dislikes self-editing as much as they dislike not being published.”
  • Unknown — “A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit editing.”
  • C J Cherryh — “It’s perfectly okay to write garbage—as long as you edit brilliantly.”
  • Steve Martin — “The conscious mind is the editor and the subconscious is the writer. The joy of writing from the subconscious is beautiful. It’s thrilling. When you’re editing, which is your conscious mind, it’s like torture.”
  • Anonymous — “The editor’s job is simple. Sort the wheat from the chaff. Point out chaff. Encourage more wheat.”
  • Jaclyn Moriarty — “She promised 3K words to her editor by tomorrow and she’d only written eleven, specifically ‘His rhinoceros smelled like a poppadum: Sweaty, salty, strange, and strong.’ She made it on time, but her editor cut that line.”
  • Eric Benoit — “Not self-editing is the path to the dark side. Not self-editing leads to self-delusion. Self-delusion leads to missed mistakes. Missed mistakes lead to bad reviews. Bad reviews are the tools of the dark side.”
  • Richard Kinlogh — “When I’m writing, I make the words my bitch, but when I’m editing, the words make me their bitch. It all equals out in the end.”
  • Don Rolf — “I’ve found the best way to revise your own work is to pretend that someone else wrote it, then rip the living shit out of it.”
  • Sue Coletta — “An unedited manuscript is a crime scene.”
  • Jarod Kintz — “There are two typos of writers in this world, those who can edit and those who don’t bother.”
  • Dr. Suess — “So the writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads.”

Tip #1 — Trust Your Gut

A24The more you write and the more you self-edit, the more instinctive you’ll become. You’ll inherently know when something’s not working. It doesn’t sound right. It doesn’t look right. It just doesn’t feel right. Trust your gut feeling. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred it’ll be right.

Self-editing is a continuation of your journey, not your end. One book after another, you’ll find it easier to think through editing and developmental issues and work them out for yourself. You’ll grow as an author and as a critical thinker. Your skills will grow stronger and your editing effort will expand beyond merely making your book “work”, but to transcend your genre and influence how people see the world.

And there’s only one editor alive with that type of commitment.

You.

*   *   *

grodgers-deadly-selfedit-cover-ebook-interior-1024pxHow To Self-Edit Deadly Crime Thrillers – A No BS Guide With 101 Killer Tips is now available in Amazon Kindle eBook format. Click Here to download a copy. Don’t let the title fool you, though. It’s primarily aimed at crime-fiction writers but the principles can be applied across the board to all forms of writing.

And I’d like to give a word of thanks to all the contributors: Larry Brooks, Will Buckingham, Renni Browne, Shawn Coyne, Shannon Donnelly, Mignon Fogarty, Dr. Kim Foster, Tanya Egan Gibson, Michael Heibert, Beth Hill, Marcy Kennedy, Susanne Lakin, Jessica Page Morrell, Gabriela Pereira, Brandon Royal, Scarlett Rugers, Alexandra Sokoloff, Jessica Strawser, Sarah Kolb-Williams, and Cathy Yardley. And, of course, the biggest thank-you goes to Sue Coletta for her commitment, hard work, and attention to detail.

grodgers-write-deadly-cover-online-use-3debook-smlAlso, the first book in the How To Write Deadly Crime Fiction Series — How To Write Deadly Crime Thrillers – A No BS Guide With 101 Killer Tips is available FREE on Amazon for a five-day KDPS promotion and, as of this morning, it’s sitting in Amazon’s #1 spot in Writing, Researching & Publishing Guides > Writing > Writing Skills. Click Here to download your FREE copy.

The next guide in the series How To Write Deadly Crime Scenes is in the draft stage and I hope to have it published in the next few weeks. The remainder of the eight guides in the series will be released over the summer of 2016.